Shadowed
by NyanNyanNekomi
Summary: Izaya Orihara is suffering from an unknown depression, every night questioning whether or not he has the ability to finally kill himself once and for all. Right before he jumps off of the building he had made so many others, Shizuo finds him. Shinra diagnoses him with depression, and to keep him safe, Shizuo must stay with Izaya until he recovers... Or finally succeeds in suicide.
1. Depression

**Heyo! ^^" Sorry, but I had to give up on my other (first) Durarara fanfiction... :( All of the chapters mysteriously disappeared, and so I was too disappointed to continue it, but I made a new one! ^^ I will be working on 3 different Durarara Fanfics at once, so I'm simultaneously depressed, happy, and confused all at the same time! xD I hope you enjoy .3.**

* * *

And so, there he stood, at the edge of the building so many people had jumped, unaffected by the world… and the world unaffected by him. _Surely_, he thought to himself, _nobody would miss me. _And of course, he believed it. He was simply a shadow representing everything wrong with the world. Of course no one would miss him. Who would?

So why couldn't he jump?

His entire body was hesitant, unmoving as thoughts kept coursing through his mind. He hated being wrong. He hated being defeated. He knew that… But if he jumped, he wouldn't lose. In fact, he wouldn't win, either. Though he was the great Izaya Orihara, nobody would care about his death. He would only be nonexistent in a world of change.

But something about it didn't seem right.

He didn't have anything he wanted to do before death. At least, not anymore. And every night, he would go up to the building, look over the edge, and wonder why he couldn't jump. Then, he would go home, and every morning, have the same routine.

Shinra invited him over for lunch every day, along with Shizuo and Celty. And every day, he'd get a little quieter. A little more unresponsive. And with each passing second, he'd get a little less _himself._

"Y'know, flea, keep acting so calm and all like you are now, and I might actually end up liking you," Shizuo smiled- _actually smiled_- at him.

Izaya nodded. "Okay," he replied, almost inaudibly.

[That's actually been worrying me for a bit now… Is there something wrong, Izaya?] Celty flashed her PDA right in front of his face.

"… No," Izaya looked away. "Just tired."

"Yeah, I've actually been thinking about it, too. There's no way you're _just tired_ every single day, Izaya. Maybe you're sick or something," Shinra said calmly.

"I'm just tired, Shinra," Izaya repeated.

"Just let me diagnose you, at least! C'mon, Iza-san!" Shinra pleaded. Izaya sighed.

"Fine," he whispered. If he _was_ going to jump, he at least wanted to be a little bit… kinder.

And yet, Shizuo only watched. "You should be tired more often, Izaya." He chuckled.

[Shizuo, don't say that… It's rude.] Celty sighed. Izaya closed his eyes, curling up in the chair. In fact, the only part of his face you could see _was_ his eyes, the rest of his face hidden behind his knees. Shizuo stood up, leaving the room for a moment.

"Eh? Shi-san, where are you-" Shinra waved his hand when Shizuo came back into the room. "Oh. Whoops, sorry. Never mind."

Shizuo walked over to Izaya and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, sitting back down.

[Sh, you two. He's asleep.] Celty stood up. [Well, I'm going to go ahead and take a shower.]

"Celty, if you want, I could give you a coupon for conditioner. My brother ordered something for his girlfriend, and now we get hair product coupons all the time…" Shizuo looked up at her.

[T-That's so insensitive! Why would you say something like that!?]

"Oh! Right! Sorry, Celty, I didn't mean it like that!" Shizuo exclaimed. He noticed that Celty was shaking. "I'm really sorry. I just…"

[No, I… understand.] Celty calmed down and seemed to sigh.

"I guess I forgot, what with you being so human," Shizuo smiled at her.

Celty stared at him for a moment, before leaving and walking into the bathroom.

"So, are we going to take Izaya home?" Shinra asked Shizuo, tapping his fingers against the side of the couch.

"I'm not sure where he keeps his keys," Shizuo shrugged, looking over at the peaceful, sleeping, raven-haired man.

"Then check!" Shinra exclaimed.

"Sh!" Shizuo hushed him, but it was too late. Izaya opened his eyes slowly. He quickly stood up, brushing the blanket off of him.

"I… I have to go," Izaya said quietly, leaving immediately. Shizuo and Shinra only watched.

And that night, once again, Izaya stood at the edge of the building, looking over. He thought about what Shizuo said. _He doesn't actually like me… He was just being stupid and unpredictable, as always. _And so then, he decided it. He was going to jump. He took a deep breath, leaning over just enough to-

"Izaya?"

He heard Shizuo's voice, immediately taking a step back, balancing himself once again. He turned around to look at Shizuo, feeling tears swell in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Shizuo asked, walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. Izaya shook his head, hugging Shizuo tightly. Shizuo sat against the fence, letting his lower legs hang over the edge as Izaya sobbed into his chest. "It's alright…"

Izaya took a few minutes to get all his tears out, then looked up at Shizuo in realization. "You weren't about to… Were you?"

"I…" Shizuo sighed. "I don't know. I wondered whether or not it would actually work. After all… I did survive being run over by a truck."

Izaya smiled sadly. "Yeah… I guess so…"

"But you _wouldn't_ survive the fall. Izaya… What reason would you possibly have?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya's smile disappeared. "Honestly..? I don't know," Izaya cuddled up to Shizuo.

"Well, then I guess we finally have something in common."

- The Next Day -

"Yep, he's suffering from random depression!" Shinra announced, eating his strawberry-filled donut. He smiled in satisfaction.

Celty 'sighed' and put a hand on Izaya's shoulder. [You alright?] She asked him.

"Ne… I could be better," Izaya shrugged, hugging his knees to his chest once again.

"Can you… fix him?" Shizuo asked.

"Well, I could probably describe him to anti-depression medication, but one of the side effects is suicidal thoughts, so… It wouldn't really help, anyways. Oh, and… by the way, keep any sharp objects away from him. _Especially_ his knife," Shinra replied, finishing his sweet delicacy.

"Err… How will I do that?" Shizuo asked.

Shinra chuckled. "Yeah… Well, it kind of involves you letting Izaya stay at your house for a bit, or vice-versa."

Both Shizuo and Izaya froze, shooting Shinra a glare.

"Hehehe… Yeah, I thought you two would react like that," Shinra chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Anyways, try to do fun things, okay? H-Happy thoughts, happy thoughts! Well, see ya!" Shinra grabbed Celty's hand and ran out the door.

[Shinra!] Celty pulled free, realizing that she was out in public without her helmet. She quickly grabbed one of the flower vases on the windowsill and emptied it out, placed it on top of her neck where her head would have been. [… I hate you, so extremely much.]

- Meanwhile -

"So…" Shizuo gulped. "Your house or mine?"

Izaya shuddered. He wasn't extremely happy with allowing Shizuo into his home, but he didn't want to be trapped at Shizuo's place either. "You choose," he decided.

"Alright, fine. Yours," Shizuo said. Izaya sighed, somehow knowing Shizuo would say that.

"Ahn…" Izaya shook his head. "Okay, whatever…"

* * *

**Hi again! :D Sorry it was so short, I can't help but write such a short chapter, just as an introduction! Welp, anyways, I really hope you enjoyed it.**

**R&R!**

**Thank you, my dear Alpaca friends! Goodbye 3**


	2. страх

**Heyyy again, guys! ^^ I really had fun with this chapter, right up until... SPOILER ALERT! And do you like the title of the chapter? o3o It's in Russian! Anyways, this kind of ended on a HUGE cliffhanger, so I apologize beforehand. xD Enjoy! :3**

* * *

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Shizuo exclaimed, grabbing a butter knife from Izaya. Izaya looked up at him with a frown.

"I was just cutting my toast…" Izaya mumbled. Shizuo stared at him for a moment and pointed to the living room.

"You. Living room. Now," Shizuo ordered. Izaya crossed his arms.

"But, Shizu-chan, I was just cutting my-"

"Toast. I know. Just go to the living room," he ordered once again. Izaya nodded slightly, leaving the kitchen. "Ugh…" Shizuo muttered, cutting the flea's toast.

Izaya sat, curled up on the couch. He watched Shizuo come out of the kitchen and set a plate of horribly cut toast in front of him. "… Shizu-chan, is that even toast?" he asked quietly.

"Y-Yes… What else would it be!?" Shizuo questioned.

"Well… Now… It kind of looks like a dead frog," Izaya shrugged. Shizuo grabbed the plate, walked outside, and threw it thousands of feet into the air. When he turned around to go back inside, he heard a woman scream.

"… I didn't do that," Shizuo told himself.

"SOMEBODY JUST HIT ME WITH A PLATE OF DEAD FROG!" a female voice cried out.

"… Nope, didn't do it," Shizuo sighed. He reentered the house, seeing that Izaya was watching anime. "Huh? Which one is that?" Shizuo asked him, sitting beside him.

"Kuroshitsuji," Izaya replied. (Nope, don't own that anime either 3 I WISH.)

Shizuo nodded. "Oh…" He sighed and turned the television off.

"… Ne?" Izaya asked, looking over at him.

"Shinra said we had to do something fun and uplifting so… What do you usually do for fun?" Shizuo asked Izaya.

"Mess up people's lives, why?" Izaya asked back.

"… Okay, well, we can put that in our back pocket… And think of something else, okay? So, do you do anything _other_ than… mess up people's lives?"

"… People-_watch_ so I can mess up their lives," Izaya shrugged.

"Okay, how about something normal people would do?" Shizuo asked.

"We could walk around, I guess. I dunno."

Shizuo took Izaya's hand and pulled him off of the couch. "Okay, then let's go." Without another word, Izaya was dragged outside and into the streets of Ikebukuro.

Shizuo saw his brother, Kasuka Heiwajima, (or Yuhei Hanejima, for the fans) and smiled to himself. "You wanna watch?"

Izaya only shrugged.

"And so, you got it right, fans!" Yuhei said cheerfully. "Today, were doing another showing of the cutest couple in Ikebukuro! It was the most requested show yet! So, how about these cuties?"

"My love for Masaomi is greater than anyone's love ever!" Saki giggled.

"I'd have to say the same," Kida smiled, kissing Saki's head.

"Well, that certainly is great, you two!" Yuhei chuckled.

And then, Erika, who was watching Yuhei, looked over and saw Shizuo and Izaya. Holding hands. And Izaya was leaning against Shizuo's shoulder.

"Heyyy, Yuhei! What about those two over there!" she exclaimed happily, pointing at Shizuo and Izaya. Yuhei almost frowned, seeing his brother with Izaya Orihara, and now being asked to interview them _as a couple_, but he knew Shizuo would understand.

"Okay! What about you two lovebirds?" Yuhei asked.

"…" Shizuo stared at him for a second. Izaya only looked up, not really knowing what was happening because he was too busy thinking. "Lovebirds?"

"Yep! You're now on the Cutest Couple in Ikebukuro! So, how did you two meet?" Yuhei asked.

"Well, we were in middle school, and we tried to murder each other. Like… _freakin' massacre_," Shizuo replied. Izaya giggled. "Eh? Why are you laughing?"

"Massacre… It's funny, 'cause… 'Cause you didn't die," Izaya replied. Shizuo smiled at him, happy to see that he wasn't emotionless anymore. But, of course, he still wasn't his usual, arrogant self.

"Well, that's a nice story," Yuhei flashed a grin. "So, I notice a ring on your finger, young man. Are you two engaged?" he asked Izaya. Shizuo could have sworn that Kasuka was just trying to embarrass him now, but he knew he'd never do that.

"No," Izaya shook his head. "Shizu-chan, can we go now? I'm hungry…" His smile disappeared, and he was once again a robot.

"Oh, you're going now?" Yuhei sighed in relief. "Okay, well, then, have a nice time, you two!" He quickly walked off to another couple.

"That was… stressful," Shizuo rubbed his temples. "Oh, god… So, what do you want to eat?"

"Ootoro!" Izaya cheered.

"Well, thank god you have some personality back… It's only because of the fatty tuna, isn't it?" Shizuo asked him.

"Ne, yep!" Izaya smiled happily. "So, to Russia Sushi!"

When they arrived, they saw Simon talking to a young girl.

"REALLY!?" She asked, her face filled with awe and happiness.

"Mhm! So, you go now?" Simon frowned. "Okay, but tell your parents to come and eat Russia Sushi again soon!"

"Hey, Simon," Shizuo held a hand up.

"Oh, hello, Shizuo! What are you doing with Izaya?" Simon asked him.

"Huh? Oh, we're just here to get him some Ootoro," Shizuo replied.

Simon narrowed his eyes. "No kill? No anger? No… Fighting?"

"Nope," Shizuo shrugged. "Well, see ya," he nodded, walking inside. Izaya waved to Simon then followed behind.

As Izaya ate his Ootoro happily, Shizuo was texting Celty.

"Hm?" Shizuo sighed, his phone running out of battery.

"Hn?" Izaya asked, stuffing his face with fatty tuna and rice.

"Phone died. So, where do you want to go after this?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya didn't reply for a moment.

"Izaya?"

Izaya shook his head. "Eh?" he looked up at Shizuo.

"I said, where do you want to go after this?"

Izaya looked out the window for a moment in thought. "Ferris Wheel?"

"Alright," Shizuo shrugged.

Izaya finished up his Ootoro and grabbed Shizuo's hand, pulling him out of Russia Sushi. "Bye, Simon!" he said, waving as they walked away. "Oh, and…" he stopped for a moment, a serious look on his face as Simon listened. "Вы были хорошего друга. Если есть Эдип, увидимся там."

Simon paused, nodded sadly, and then went back to handing out flyers.

Shizuo stared at Izaya as they continued to walk once again, Izaya's smile gone. "What did you say?" Shizuo asked. "I never knew you spoke Russian."

"I just said thanks for Ootoro, Shizu-chan. It's not important," Izaya lied.

"Er... Alright," Shizuo sighed. "So, Ferris Wheel? That's about three minutes away from here."

"Yep. And now it's about thirty seconds away," Izaya replied. Then, it was silence until they reached the huge 'Wheel of Ferris'. "It looks nice, especially with all the lights, since it's getting dark."

"It does," Shizuo nodded, leading Izaya into the cart. Once the door was closed, Izaya leaned over the edge, rested his head on his arms as they slowly went up, stopping momentarily for each cart to be at the top for about two or three minutes each.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked.

"Hm?" Shizuo looked over at him.

"You know I really do like you, right?"

Shizuo stared at Izaya in shock. At first, he thought he must be lying. Then, after the intensifying silence and no remark of it being a joke, Shizuo spoke up.

"I... I do now," he said.

Izaya looked back at him and smiled. "You know how you said the fall from the building would kill me?" he asked. Shizuo looked down over the edge as they reached the top.

"Yeah… Why?" he stared at Izaya expectantly.

Their cart stopped, and Izaya hugged Shizuo, even if only for a second.

"Exactly," Izaya backed up from Shizuo and climbed onto the edge of the cart in one swift move.

"Then what do you think this would do?"

And those were his last words before he let himself fall over the side of the Ferris wheel from 160 feet up, causing multiple screams and cries of urgency. Immediately, ambulances and police vehicles began to crowd the area.

"Izaya!" Shizuo reached for Izaya's hand, but failing to grab it, just inches away. He growled, jumping off the side himself, looking around for the most-likely-dead informant. He silently cursed at himself for not realizing this.

_I swear, if he's alive when I find him, I will slaughter him…_

Shizuo kept looking until he found a body being wheeled into an ambulance. He ran over to the police beside it.

"Am I allowed to ride in the ambulance with him?" Shizuo asked.

"Depends," the cop shrugged. "Who are you?"

"I'm the guy who brought him here."

Just minutes later, he found himself silently staring at the gurney, wanting to see Izaya's face, but not willing to take the blanket off of his body. He tapped his foot, waiting for the ride to be over. Just how long would it take to _get_ to a hospital, anyways?

"Izaya… You better wake up," Shizuo spoke, somehow hoping that the message would get to Izaya, but knowing it wouldn't. He began to wonder how Izaya had been so happy half an hour ago, then suddenly resort to suicide. Then he realized…

He didn't notice that Izaya was never happy to begin with.

* * *

**DUN! DUN! DUNNNNNNNNNN! The story does not end here! I will make it to at least 10 chapters! (like always, unless I discontinue the story x3)**

**So, anyways, I finally broke down and wrote a Pokémon fanfiction. xD So, stay tuned for the next chapter! ^^ Also, if you're into Kuroshitsuji, read my other fanfics.**

**And finally, I am going to be writing a TOTAL crack fic for Durarara, which is much different then my usual writing style. So, anyways, I'll see you later!**

**I love you guys. You're my little fatty tunas 3**


	3. Heartbeat

**Hello again! 3 I hope you've all been having a nice day! I just want to take this time to wish everyone a Happy New Year. My New Year's Resolution is to do as much as I can to be an ultimate Whotaku (Which, is you didn't know, is a Whovian+Otaku)! So, anyways, I hope you guys enjoy. :)) **

* * *

Shizuo woke up slowly, feeling somewhat dizzy. He looked around, seeing that he was in a hospital room. "Hm? Oh, right…" He looked over at the hospital bed, where Izaya was sound asleep, peacefully. He glanced at the heartbeat monitor, seeing that it was running smoothly.

"Mm…Mnn?" Izaya's eyes just barely opened. "Eh?" he tried to sit up, but winced at the pain.

"Hey, careful," Shizuo sighed. He couldn't help the smile on his face though. Izaya was still alive, and that was all that mattered right now.

Izaya nodded, looking around at his own body. He had cuts and bruises all over, but the only severe damage was his left leg being broken. He was a bit relieved that that was all it was, considering that if it were to be anything more, life would be just a little bit more painful. He once again attempted to sit up, and leaned against the wall. He looked around, extremely bored.

"Izaya..?" Shizuo asked.

"Hm?"

"Did you only agree to leave the house because you were going to..?" Shizuo sighed, not needing to continue.

Izaya turned to Shizuo and hugged him, resting his head on Shizuo's shoulder. "I wish I didn't," he replied quietly. "I mean, it's not like anyone would care, anyways."

"Don't say that," Shizuo mumbled.

"Why not? It's true," Izaya replied.

"I'd care."

Izaya stared at Shizuo in surprise. "You're lying."

"Why would I?"

"Because that's not true."

"It _is_."

"Stop lying, Shizu-chan. It's rude."

"I told you, I'm not lying."

"Prove it."

Shizuo looked down at Izaya. He hugged him back. "I don't know how…"

The door opened and the doctor entered the room. "Am I interrupting something?" he laughed. "Well, he can go home today. I know it's been a long time since the accident, but-"

"What? How long has it been?" Izaya moved away from Shizuo, back in his original spot.

"Didn't you tell him?" The doctor asked Shizuo, who only shook his head. "Son, it's been… Three weeks. Only three weeks. So… Don't you worry, okay?"

Izaya blinked. Three weeks. That wasn't too bad, right? Three weeks. Surely, he hadn't missed anything significant.

"Okay," Izaya sighed. Once again, his face was expressionless, so inscrutably blank and unfitting for the cocky informant's face. The doctor nodded.

"Anyways, I was just going to check your vitals. Say 'Ah'," the doctor walked over to Izaya with a thermometer.

"Ah?" Izaya asked.

"No, no. Like, 'Aaaaaaaaaaaah', and stick out your tongue," the doctor replied.

"Wait… What? So, like… 'Aaah?'" Izaya questioned.

"No, no, do it longer! 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!'"

"No, I get that, I was just asking if it was the right form."

"Ah, then yes."

"Wait, so I say 'Ah', then 'Yes'?" Izaya asked.

"No, I was saying 'Ah', as in 'Oh' or 'Okay. You… You just go 'Aaaaaaah!'" The doctor sighed.

"Oh, okay, so-"

"Just do it."

"…" Izaya did as he was told, and the doctor put the thermometer in his mouth when Izaya immediately flinched. He closed his mouth. "What are you doing?" Izaya asked.

"I'm checking your temperature."

"Don't stick things in my mouth…" Izaya stared at him for a moment, looking much like a ten year old who had just seen a pink bumblebee breaching out of a sink while singing R&B tunes. "… It's rude." Shizuo shook his head.

"My God, Izaya, just do what he says," He sighed, face palming.

"But what if he tells me to jump off a cliff or something?" Izaya asked.

"Please do," the doctor cut in.

"Ooooh, so now mister big shot over here is telling me what to do?" Izaya hissed at the doctor.

"No! No, no. NO," The doctor replied. "Just… Just, please, say 'Aaaaaah'."

"What if I don't want to say 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaah- AH!" Izaya crossed his arms, frowning at the doctor who had just stuck a thermometer in his mouth. The doctor removed it, checking the temperature.

"Hm… A high fever. I need to check your heartbeat… Would you mind?" the doctor asked.

"Ne," Izaya replied, taking his shirt off and setting it beside him.

"Well, you didn't have to… remove it completely, but…" the doctor sighed. "Oh, well," he pressed the cold stethoscope onto Izaya's chest and Izaya flinched, pushing him away. His face held immediate horror and alarm.

"Izaya..?" Shizuo asked, knowing the cold metal wasn't the real problem.

"N-No… Just… Continue," Izaya shook his head, rubbing his eyes.

The doctor nodded, pressing the tool onto Izaya's skin once again. Izaya winced, but didn't move. He was relieved when he was told to put his shirt back on, and the doctor, who was extremely annoyed, left the room.

"What was that all about?" Shizuo asked. "Haven't you ever been to a hospital before?"

"Y-Yes… But not… As a patient," Izaya breathed slowly. "Usually, I just go to Shinra's…"

"Oh, right," Shizuo frowned. "So… You don't really like it here, do you?"

"Hate it," Izaya looked up at him. "I hate it so, so much."

"Then, do you want to go home?" Shizuo asked him.

Izaya scoffed. "_Home?_ Don't speak to me about _home._ If _home_ is where the heart is, I have no _home._ If home is a nice, warm place where you feel welcome, I don't have a _home._ If home is simply somewhere you reside… I don't _want_ a home."

Shizuo wondered why the word had triggered Izaya off so quickly and easily.

"Fine. Do you want to go back to your apartment?" Shizuo asked.

"No," Izaya replied. "It's boring there."

Shizuo shook his head. "Fine. My house?"

Izaya took it into serious consideration. He eventually nodded, staring into Shizuo's eyes with a face that made it clear- If the 0.000675% chance that looks could kill, they would definitely be working their way into Izaya's favor. He was so innocent looking, yet somehow there was a dark tint to it that made you wonder whether or not he was really what he seemed. "Okay," he said with a small voice. "I need… crutches, or a wheelchair, or something…"

Shizuo picked Izaya up, bridal style.

"Or that," Izaya shrugged.

Shizuo began to walk out of the room, and eventually, out of the hospital. Nobody questioned him, considering his reputation.

- Ten Minutes Later -

Shizuo entered the house, closing the door behind him. He dropped Izaya on the couch quite carelessly.

"Ow! My… everything… Shizu-chan, are you trying to kill me?" he frowned up at the blonde.

"If I was trying to kill you, you'd be dead," Shizuo replied. Kasuka came out of the kitchen, staring at the two.

"Hi. Sorry about that incident a few weeks ago. You know, I was just doing my job," he stared at Shizuo, expecting a reply.

"I understand," Shizuo nodded. "It's fine."

Izaya was too busy being in pain to care about whatever crap Shizuo and his brother were talking about. He curled up as far as he could without his entire body killing him. "Hn…" he shuddered.

"Izaya… You need rest. Take a nap," Shizuo said.

"No!" Izaya snapped, his eyes immediately shooting open. Shizuo tilted his head.

"Did I… miss something?" he asked.

"… N-No… I'm sorry, never mind…"

To hear the words _I'm_ and _sorry_ put together in a single sentence was acceptable. But coming out of the flea's mouth? Whatever happened to him must have been absolutely horrible.

"Er… Don't worry about it," Shizuo sat on the other couch, turning the television on. The next few hours they spent were in silence. Then, breaking the eternal time of shutting up, Shinra burst into the house.

"You guys are supposed to tell me where you are! You can't just switch houses like that!" he panicked. "I was about to call Celty to search Ikebukuro! Why would you two-"

"Shinra, calm down," Shizuo said. "I cut toast and then threw it at a woman who said it looked like a dead frog, and now we're here."

"W-Wha..?" Shinra seemed confused. Izaya curled up in his blanket.

"Ahn… Shizu-chan, could we go somewhere again today?" Izaya asked.

"No," Shizuo replied sternly.

Izaya frowned. "Why not?"

"Because you're going to-" Shizuo saw that Izaya was tearing up. Why did he want to go somewhere so much..? "… Fine."

Shinra watched them curiously.

Izaya's face lit up. "Really? You're not kidding?"

"… Yes, really, Izaya. Why does it matter so much?" Shizuo asked him.

Izaya smiled brightly. "It just does."

"I think he just wants to go places with you, to be honest," Shinra shrugged. "So… You know. That's why he's asking you."

"…" Shizuo looked over at Izaya, whose eyes were now closed. He was laying down, probably trying to rest for a little bit. "I doubt it," Shizuo sighed, looking back at Shinra.

"Watch this," Shinra chuckled. "Izaya, is what I just said true?"

"Mhm," Izaya replied, still not moving.

Shizuo looked at the two. "… You've gotta be freakin' kidding me."

* * *

**So, I'm currently in progress of writing chapter four, and I'm really trying to make these chapters longer. xD I always seem to forget crap and stuff, what with school (UGGGGGH) coming up again and such, so sorry if I don't write as much after January 2nd. I update daily, sometimes twice in one day, but I'll have to change to once or twice every few days. *insert sad face here* But, anyways, I'll still try to update it as often as possible. Oh, and the Kuroshitsuji fanfictions that I've discontinued... I'm recontinuing them ^^ And last, but not least, I wrote this story merely from my own mind, but when I feel stuck on something or need something to really get me in the mood, I listen to Mad World by Gary Jules to help me speed through xD**

**So, anyways, thanks to those who read my super-long author's note.**

**And to those who didn't... ;-; Why would you do this to me?**

**Anyways, goodbye my murderous Ferris Wheels. I LOVE YOU.**


	4. A Quite Literal Heartbreak

**Heyo! ^^ Anyways, if you're going to Katsucon, post it in the reviews! :3 Or... message me. OR SOMETHING..! Anyways, Happy New Years! :D**

* * *

"Flea… Wake up," Shizuo poked Izaya's shoulder.

Izaya stirred. "Ne? Don't… Don't do that," Izaya poked him back, harder.

"I didn't poke you that hard!" Shizuo growled.

"Well, you still poked me!" Izaya poked him a bit harder.

Shizuo poked him back.

Then, it became poke wars.

"Ow! Stop it!" Izaya retracted his hands, hugging them close to his chest. "Why would you do that!?" he sat up, still tired.

"You started it," Shizuo looked away.

"Owww…" Izaya rubbed the side of his neck. "Lemme sleep," Izaya instructed, laying down and pulling the blanket over himself, covering his head.

"No. Wake up," Shizuo poked him again. Izaya sat up immediately and grabbed Shizuo's hands, binding them together with the blanket.

"Don't do that!" Izaya hissed. He laid back down, trying to sleep once again.

… Shizuo didn't know how to respond. He just barely pulled his hands apart, the blanket coming unknotted and falling onto Izaya's side.

"… You said you wanted to go somewhere today," He sighed. At this, Izaya sat up, blinking.

"Okay. Where are we going?" he asked Shizuo. Shizuo only responded with a face palm.

He looked back at Izaya. "You mean you didn't plan it out already?"

"Nope," Izaya shrugged. He expected Shizuo to plan it.

"… Alright, then where do you want to go?"

"Um..." Izaya had to think about it. "Russia Su-"

"No."

"Okay, Ferris Whe-"

"No."

"… A Haunted House?"

"Why would you want to go to a haunted house?" Shizuo asked, obviously confused.

"Because… I like Haunted Houses," Izaya shrugged.

And so, there they were, Shizuo being Izaya's left support as they walked around the haunted house.

"Are you sure your leg isn't bothering you? I mean, really. I would expect it to hurt, at least a little. It's broken, after all," Shizuo looked down at Izaya in the dim light.

"It's okay if it hurts, because Shizu-chan's here to help me, right? When I fall, he'll pick me up, right? Because... He just will," Izaya didn't even look at Shizuo while saying it, seeming like he was talking to himself. "So… If it hurts, Shizu-chan's there to ease the pain."

Shizuo smiled sadly. "Right. Shizu-chan's here for you," he patted Izaya's head, feeling like he was taking care of a frightened child… Which, in a way, he was. Izaya hugged Shizuo's arm and stopped walking. He felt blood rush to his cheeks, smiling.

"Right. And Shizu-chan wouldn't mind if I did…" Izaya looked up at Shizuo and pulled him into a hug. "…this, right?"

Shizuo seemed taken aback, but didn't really mind. He kneeled down, letting Izaya's leg rest for a moment. "No, he wouldn't."

"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH!" A 'ghost' jumped out at the two.

"GAH!" Shizuo stood up and punched the ghost, sending him flying. He breathed heavily, hearing a thud, and an "Oooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwww…"

"Oh, right… We're… in a haunted house. Sorry!" Shizuo exclaimed.

"D-Dude! That's Shizuo Heiwajima's voice!" Someone called out.

"No way!?" Another screamed. "Aw, crap!"

Shizuo chuckled, picking Izaya up bridal-style. He checked Izaya's fever. "Hm… Still high, I think," he said. "Well, where do you want to go after this?"

"… Seafood?" Izaya asked.

"No."

"Aw…" he whined, cuddling up closer to Shizuo. His breath became slower and deeper. "Okay, then… How about… A roller coaster? I can't jump off of that."

"… A roller coaster?" Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Be more specific, please."

"Well, we could go to the same place as we did for the Ferris Wheel, and instead, just ride the roller coaster!" Izaya smiled at him.

"… You should be dead, Izaya. Why do you want to go back there?" Shizuo frowned.

"Well, I don't let my past drag me down. I never forget my past, but I never let it get in my way," Izaya replied. "So… Roller coaster?"

Shizuo shook his head. "I don't know why- Okay, roller coaster."

And so, they returned once again to that cursed fair.

"Five dollars for three throws! Get at least two out of three rings on the bottles, and you win a prize!" A man called out.

"That sounds like fun!" Izaya pointed to the booth where the man was calling out.

Shizuo sighed. "In your condition? I'm sorry, Izaya, but I'm not going to let you hurt yourself for a stuffed dog."

"So, Shizu-chan will get a stuffed dog for me?" Izaya asked. He'd always misinterpreted things. Wait, no- He always knew exactly what everybody meant, but _acted_ like he misinterpreted things. Wait, wait… Ah, whatever. All this thinking about crap was making Shizuo's brain hurt.

"Do you _want_ a stuffed dog?" Shizuo asked him.

"Yes!" Izaya replied cheerfully.

"Alright…" Shizuo walked over to the booth and let Izaya sit on the counter as he waited. "So, five dollars for how many throws?"

"T-Three…" The man replied, immediately recognizing the two most dangerous people in Ikebukuro. Together. At a fair. Acting all innocent.

"Tch," Shizuo took his wallet out, handing the man a five dollar bill. "There."

The man nodded and handed Shizuo three small hoops.

"Hm… Alright," Shizuo tossed one hoop and smiled with pride as it found itself wrung around a bottle. "Heh. I thought these things were supposed to be rigged," he said.

Izaya watched, his head tilted. He'd never _just_ walked around, like a normal person. He'd always had an unspoken purpose to be out and about. But, to be honest, it was kind of… _fun_ for him.

The next ring Shizuo threw failed horribly in doing its job.

The ring just after that made it rather easily.

"Wow, great j-job…" the man nodded. "What c-color do you w-want?"

Shizuo turned to Izaya. "Choose a color."

Izaya looked around at the dogs hanging from the roof's edges. "Ne… Animal Abuse isn't a very family-friendly thing… I want the gold and brown one!" he smiled.

"O-Okay…" the man handed the dog to Shizuo, who handed it to Izaya. "Have a nice d-day!"

Izaya hugged the dog close to him as Shizuo picked him up. "Hm… I'm pretty sure they have wheelchairs around here," Shizuo said. He walked over to a cop. "Hey, do you know where I could get a wheelchair or crutches or something?"

"Ah, lucky for you, they're all in that building. Y'know, the one named medical supply. It's not in the dolphin tank, son," The police rolled his eyes. "Have a nice day."

Shizuo gritted his teeth, walking to the building and knocking on the door. A woman opened.

"Hm? How may I help you?" she asked.

"Could I get crutches or something? Miniature Eskimo over here broke his leg," He replied.

The girl giggled, but Izaya just looked at Shizuo with a look of confusion.

"Alright, I'll get you something," the girl walked back inside.

"Ne..? Miniature Eskimo?" Izaya asked Shizuo.

Shizuo smiled down at him. "You share a fashion choice."

The woman came out holding a pair of crutches. "And there you go! You two have a nice day, okay?" she smiled. "Oh! And… Here," The woman handed Shizuo a slip of paper before closing the door. He stuffed it in his pocket, at the same time helping Izaya onto the ground with his crutches.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya stared at the concrete.

"Hm?" Shizuo looked over at him.

Izaya leaned against Shizuo's side, resting his head on his shoulder. "Thank you."

Okay. Okay, okay, okay. _I'm sorry_ had done it. _Thank you _is equivalent to the dinosaurs being rebirthed by an underground sea volcano that came out of a beluga whale.

Moral of the sentence?

_Izaya Orihara does not say thank you._

Shizuo only smiled at him. "You're welcome." He tried his best not to sound surprised, and somehow succeeded.

- Three Minutes Later -

"No line?" Izaya asked, walking over to the roller coaster beside Shizuo.

"Hm. That's either lucky, or really, really suspicious," he replied.

The woman in front stamped both of their hands. "You get a free ride!" she smiled and giggled. "Okay, so what you're going to do is sit down and pull the metal bar down in front of your stomach, then just hold on!" she fist-pumped the air.

"Alright," Shizuo shrugged, entering one of the cars. Izaya sat down next to him and set his crutches down on the floor. "You do it, Izaya."

"Hn? Oh, okay," Izaya pulled the metal bar down, thinking that Shizuo probably didn't want to break it. "Ne… We're moving now."

The two were scarily silent as the five minute ride twisted and turned, making loops, and even going upside down. Out of nowhere, Izaya started coughing. _Hard._ He didn't- rather, _couldn't_- stop. Eventually, he was coughing up blood.

"I-Izaya!" Shizuo stared at him in alarm. "Just… wait for two more minutes…" he tried to calm down, hugging the flea close to him and stroking his hair. Izaya rested his chin on Shizuo's shoulder, trying his best to keep his mouth shut. "I don't want to jump off a roller coaster and kill you…"

Izaya hugged Shizuo back the best he could, but he felt himself getting weaker… and weaker… and so, so much weaker.

"S-Shizu-chan…" he was trembling horribly. When the ride finally slowed, Shizuo pushed the metal bar back in place, picked Izaya up (and his crutches), and began running to Shinra's house. He just had to get to Shinra's, and he'd be okay…

Right?

* * *

**Hola again! That's all I really needed to say, actually.**

**Sooo... Goodbye, my dolphin friends!**


	5. Unforgotten Hatred

**Well, well, my friends! I recently read an interesting review about how the police vehicles and ambulances got there in mere seconds, even before Izaya hit the ground, in chapter two! And I must say, you catch on so very quickly because that is a HUGE part of the plot! Bravo~ ^^ Anyways, this is the second time that I have updated today, so yay. ^^**

* * *

"He's going into cardiac arrest!" Shinra exclaimed. "Okay, um… Um..!" he snapped his fingers. "Izaya, just try to swallow this, okay?" he handed Izaya a small white pill.

Izaya popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed it immediately, coughing harder by the minute. After about three minutes of struggling, he calmed down.

"What were you doing that could've cause the attack?" Shinra asked Shizuo, everybody in the room relaxing just a little bit.

"It was just a roller coaster. And Izaya was the one who suggested it," Shizuo replied. "Wait… you don't think…"

"… He did it on purpose, knowing what would happen? In fact, I do believe that," Shinra stared at Izaya seriously. "Are we right?" he asked him.

Izaya only nodded.

Shizuo stared at him with a frown. "All of that crap you said back there… It was all lies, wasn't it?" he asked.

Once again, Izaya only nodded.

"I can't believe you, you insensitive, selfish brat!" Shizuo growled. "For once, for _once_ I _trusted_ you!" He slammed his fist on the coffee table. "Why did you even stay with me anyway!? You could've just gone and done all that crap yourself!" His frown turned into a smirk. "Oooh, no. You wanted the ATTENTION, didn't you!? You wanted to be known! You just wanted somebody to lay by your body and cry, didn't you!? Well, you've been alone all your life, and I'M NOT SURPRISED!"

Shinra put a hand on Shizuo's shoulder. "Shizuo, calm do-"

Shizuo punched Shinra's chest, causing him to fly into the wall. Shizuo turned back to Izaya.

"You call me a monster, but it's your fault I'm like this!" Shizuo pinned him to the wall. "Ever since I met you, I've been flaming out at everyone I know! It's your fault I'm a monster!"

"S-Shizu-chan, I-"

"Don't call me that!" Shizuo dropped Izaya, letting him fall to the ground. "You deserve whatever the hell you're doing to yourself."

Those were the last words that came out of his mouth. He slammed the door, causing it to fall off its hinges. Celty parked on the sidewalk, in front of Shizuo.

[Hey, what happened?] She held her PDA up to his face. [You alright?]

Shizuo shoved the PDA away, not bothering to read it. He just kept walking.

_Wait… Shizuo…_ Celty thought. She looked up and saw the broken door. _He must have… Shinra… Shinra!_ She got off of the bike, running into the house. She didn't notice Izaya on the floor, and nearly tripped trying to reach her fiancé. [Shinra, are you alright!?] She pulled him out of the wall. He stood in front of her with a sad smile.

"Celty, I'm perfectly fine. If anyone needs help right now… It's him," Shinra pointed to Izaya.

Celty looked over. [O-Oh! Izaya, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't see you there.]

"It's alright, Celty," Izaya smiled at her, standing up and taking his crutches from the wall. "I just… need to go home, okay?"

"Wait," Shinra said, darkly. "You planned it, didn't you? The entire commotion… I was watching the news. As soon as you stepped onto the edge, it seemed that there were police and doctors on their way." He stared at Izaya for an answer.

Izaya stared back at him with the same serious expression. "No, I didn't plan it. But somebody did. Or maybe, they just naturally assumed that Shizuo and I would cause trouble. It doesn't matter, though."

"How could you say it doesn't matter, Izaya?" Shinra asked.

"Because… If somebody did plan it, they're dead already," Izaya replied, leaving Shinra wondering what he meant. As soon as he left the house, Shinra grabbed a journal and a pen.

"Celty, get my laptop," he said quickly, sitting down and immediately writing down the line: _If somebody did plan it, they're dead already._ "This could be huge, Celty," he looked at her as she set his laptop down in front of him. "I think there's a lot more going on here than we expected."

- Meanwhile -

"Ah, Shizuo! You eat sushi today, no? It good for you!" Simon smiled, watching Shizuo walk past. "You look distressed. Come, eat sushi! It make you feel better."

Shizuo stopped, staring at Simon. "Eh, why not?" he shrugged, walking into the restaurant.

"But I'm really having trouble believing that Izaya actually jumped!" Masaomi said with a full mouth, sitting with Mikado and Anri at one of the tables.

"It's curious," Anri said. "He had no reason to."

Mikado swallowed the food in his mouth before speaking up. "Actually, one of his sisters just got killed. The other one got kidnapped."

"How would you know?" Kida asked him, finally swallowing his food.

"… Because," Mikado looked down at his phone. "They told me so."

Shizuo stopped moving, simply staring at the ground as he listened to the three.

"Oh, the dollars told you? That makes a bit more sense now," Mikado stuffed his face with Ootoro once again.

_Ootoro. _

Shizuo walked over to the three. "Hey, what's up?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just chatting," Anri looked up at him. She knew he was listening in, but decided not to say anything about it.

"So, I heard something about Izaya's sisters. Are they alright?" Shizuo asked. Anri scooted over so Shizuo could sit down.

"Well… According to the dollars, no. Kururi is dead and Mairu's in custody," Mikado replied casually. Shizuo nodded, suddenly regretting what he'd done to Izaya just minutes ago.

But, he shook the feeling away. Izaya should be the one who should be sorry, right?

"So, anything new in your life?" Masaomi asked Shizuo.

"… Not really," Shizuo shrugged.

"Oh, I saw you and Izaya on Ikebukuro's Cutest Couple," Anri suddenly remembered, looking at Shizuo. "I found it very… interesting."

"Yeah… No," Shizuo chuckled. "Anyways, thanks for chatting, but I gotta go. See ya around," he said, standing up and exiting Russia Sushi. Celty stood right in front of him, arms crossed.

[You hurt Shinra.] She wrote on her PDA, just centimeters away from Shizuo's face. [_Nobody_ hurts Shinra.]

"I know. I get it, Celty, I'm so, so, sorry. I just-" Shizuo blinked as the PDA was shoved in front of his face once again.

[I can't _believe_ you!] Celty shook her head. [I mean, really. How could you do something like that!? And how you left Izaya- You _broke_ him, Shizuo!]

"Broke him? Whaddaya mean?" Shizuo asked her.

[You broke Izaya! He is _broken!_ He's so… UGH! You made his depression worse, too! Now, _I_ have to deal with him instead of you, and he's just so… DEMANDING!]

"R-Right, right. Sorry about that. I was actually just about to go on my way to apologize."

[… You better. Need a ride?] Celty asked, giving up on being mad at Shizuo.

- Meanwhile… Again 3 -

The man clicked the remote, turning the television off. "Hm… I suppose the Great God of Ikebukuro isn't in control anymore, hm, Namie~?" The man asked, turning to the woman.

"N-No, sir," she sighed, setting a cup of tea on his table. "He'll be taken care of by the end of the week." She bowed to him.

"Now… You know I don't trust you, correct?" the man asked her. She nodded. "Very good… So, as proof, I want Izaya Orihara's head. It'll look good riiight here, beside the television, don't you think?"

"Yes, sir," Namie bowed once again before leaving.

- Meanwhile… I should really just start counting how many times I do this -

"And… I'm just really sorry. Alright?" Shizuo asked Shinra. Shinra shrugged.

"I'm not mad at you at all," he said. "It's Izaya you need to apologize to."

"I am _not_ apologizing to him," Shizuo growled, gritting his teeth.

"Uh-huh… Riiight…" Shinra sighed. "Well, you should. But whatever, not my decision. Just… stay quiet for a minute, okay?"

"Why?"

"Just do it, Shi-san," Shinra rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. The two could hear a faint voice and the sound of clacking on a keyboard, continuously taking turns.

[So, you're absolutely sure you're alright?]

"I'm fine."

[Izaya, I need you to be honest here with me.]

"I know. I told you, I'm fine."

[A-Are you going to go on cutting yourself and jumping off buildings and stuff?]

"No… And it was a Ferris wheel, not a building."

[Oh… Okay… Well, do you want something to eat?]

"Yes, please…"

Celty seemed to smile. Izaya was acting like a little kid, which Celty had a sweet spot for. She just got so weak and generous when Izaya was like this. [Okay. I'll go make you some eggs, okay? Is that alright?] Izaya nodded, and Celty walked out of the room. Both Shinra _and_ Shizuo were staring at her.

[What..? I was just going to go make some eggs…] She felt like she was being accused of something.

"Alright, proceed," Shinra smiled, looking back at Shizuo. "So, yep. You ruined Izaya."

"… Well, I have to go, now," Shizuo turned to leave. "Oh, right. Something happened to Izaya's sisters. I think that's what triggered the depression." He walked out of the house immediately as Shinra watched him.

Shinra sighed and smiled to himself, raising an eyebrow. "Yep, he cares. Too much." He turned and walked into the kitchen, smiling as he spoke to Celty.

"And, that is why, my love, we must go out on a date tomorrow~!" Shinra sang.

[But, Shinra… What about Izaya?]

"He can come along with us!" Shinra smiled brighter.

Celty stared at him for a moment. [Okay, okay… Fine. But what about that thing Izaya said? You still trying to decode that?]

"Of course, but I have to make time for my beautiful fiancé!"

_Well, this is going to be… interesting,_ She thought to herself.

* * *

**And once again, I really don't have much of anything to say, so bye. o3o**

**I love you, my raging potatoes.**


	6. Truths Untold

**Hola! And no, that wasn't Google translate in chapter two, whoever said that. It was my friend 3. She's taking Russian right now. o3o Anyways, since Winter Break just ended (and school just began again D:), I'll be posting every ****_few_**** days, instead of every day, as I said before. But I will still try to post as often as possible! Also, we only have about 5 months until summer! It's really, really surprising. Aaanyways, try to enjoy my story! xD **

* * *

[Izaya, you want a mint? They're giving them away.] Celty held up her PDA to Izaya, who looked up at her with a sad face.

"No, I'm fine," Izaya said quietly.

"Heyyy, what's wrong?" Shinra asked. "We're at a restaurant _and_ paying for you, so could you at least _try_ to be happy?"

"I… guess…" Izaya looked down, not saying a word about how he heard Shizuo speak about his sisters. _How did he find out..?_

All hopes that Izaya had of becoming happy once again were crushed, destroyed, shattered, etc. when Shizuo entered the restaurant with the girl from the medical building at the fair just a few days ago. "And so we ended up sword fighting! It was so crazy. I swear, my dad and I have the strangest relationship," the girl giggled.

"Ah," Shizuo smiled, pulling out a chair from the table and allowing the girl to sit down, moving to the other side and sitting down himself. "So… Alicia…"

"No! It's okay. I mean, I understand. I just thought it was really sweet of you," The girl named Alicia smiled warmly, a light pink blush on her face. "I… I totally understand."

Shinra looked over in the direction that Izaya was staring and saw Shizuo. "Ah, Shi-san!" he called. Shizuo looked up at the three, immediately freezing.

"Um… Hi, Shinra," he gulped. This couldn't end well.

"Come on over! Sit with us!" Shinra smiled brightly. Alicia stood up and looked back at Shizuo.

"Well? Your friend wants us to sit with him, so why not?" she asked, walking over to the table and chatting it up with Shinra and Celty. Izaya stayed out of the conversation, just staring at the floor in thought. Shizuo sighed and gave up, walking over as well and sitting down.

"Wow, really!? That's so cool!" Alicia covered her mouth, laughing. "Celty-chan, that's amazing!"

Izaya just barely looked up, and Shizuo just barely looked down… and maybe just by chance, or maybe it was fated, their gazes met.

Izaya took his crutches and stood up. "I… I'm going to head back," he said to Celty.

[I'm sorry? You have to stay here, Izaya. It's dangerous for you to be out there alone. You could be jumped or something!] Celty stood up as well.

"So?" Izaya shrugged. "Why would I _care_?"

[Don't you go talking like that, mister! Now, sit down!] Celty pointed to Izaya's chair.

"Celty…" he whispered, staring at her seriously.

[… Just… Just sit down, Izaya.]

Izaya sighed and did as told. Celty sat back down as well.

"Izaya…" Shizuo looked at him from across the table. "You know I didn't-"

"It doesn't matter," Izaya stared at him intently. "Honestly, I couldn't care less anymore."

Shizuo was taken aback by this. "I can help you get your sister back, Izaya. You just have to ask."

"I don't want my sister back. I just want to disappear," Izaya's gaze fell to the ground once again as his voice faded.

"…" Shizuo sat back in his chair. "Well, that's not my fault."

"Do you know what's so pathetic about it?" Izaya's lips curved into a sad smile as tears filled his eyes. "… It's that… I actually thought I had another chance at forgetting about this…until I saw you come in with her. Is it really that easy to replace someone?"

Shizuo stood up. "_Replace?_ Are you saying I _replaced _you?"

"Well, that's certainly what it looks like…"

Alicia began to flail. "N-No! That's not at all what it is! See, I'm a professional therapist and psychologist, and so-"

"So, you needed a psychologist? Shizuo, what exactly are you trying to do?" Izaya's smile disappeared, and he stood up as well, staring at the blonde. Their eyes bore into each other.

"I just want to help."

"I don't need your help."

"But you _want_ my help. _Someone's_ help."

"I don't _want_ help."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not."

"I said don't lie."

"Don't tell me if I'm lying or not."

"Izaya… I need to speak to you in private," Shizuo said, walking outside. Izaya quickly grabbed his crutches and followed after.

"…" Shinra smiled nervously at Celty. "Ehehehe… So… Date night, eh?"

Celty just stared at him. [You're an idiot, you know that? You arranged for Shizuo to come here, didn't you?]

"Weeeell…" Shinra rubbed the back of his head.

Alicia sat there sort of awkwardly. "So… Um… Date night."

"You're just being stupid, now, protozoan," Izaya crossed his arms, sitting down in front of the restaurant.

"Don't sit on the ground," Shizuo sighed.

"Try and stop me, then," Izaya replied, staring up at him. Shizuo kneeled down in front of him and hugged him.

"What are you doing..?" Izaya asked quietly, but hugged him back.

"Izaya… Do you _really_ like me, or was it all part of your suicide plan?" Shizuo asked him.

"…" Izaya just buried his face into Shizuo's shoulder, not saying anything. Shizuo smiled sadly, leaning against the wall of the restaurant. He pulled away from Izaya just enough to stare him in the face. He saw that Izaya's eyes were red, and felt his vest. Yep, Izaya was crying.

"You know what I love about you, Izaya?" Shizuo asked.

"?" Izaya looked up at him. Shizuo pulled him into a kiss.

Izaya's eyes widened, and he was unresponsive for a moment. When Shizuo pulled away, Izaya put a hand on his lips, feeling a strange tingling. He gulped.

"…" He stood and picked his crutches up. "I have to get back to Celty…"

Shizuo stood up as well, looking down and seeing that their hands were intertwined. He took a few steps back, until Izaya released Shizuo's hand. He didn't even know that he was doing it.

"Izaya… Do you mind if you… come back and stay with me again? Kasuka's gone, and… I thought I might need the company," Shizuo smiled at him. Izaya looked back for a moment, only nodding, before disappearing back into the restaurant. Shizuo flipped out his phone, feeling overly guilty. He dialed a number and held the phone to his ear.

"Status?" the man at the other end asked.

"I… have him now. Come by tomorrow night, and he'll be there," Shizuo sighed, staring at the ground. "I can't believe I'm doing this…"

"If you want to quit, you can," the voice hissed back. "But you'll be out of a job, out of money, and just as useless as every other person on this planet."

"I… I know," Shizuo shook his head. "Forget I said anything about it. I'll see you tomorrow."

He hung up.

- Meanwhile -

Shinra stared at Izaya, confused.

"Hm? You want to stay at Shizuo's again?" he asked. "Why? Is Celty not being good to you?"

Celty punched Shinra's shoulder. She held her PDA up to Izaya's face. [Izaya, if you want to go back to Shizuo's, nobody's stopping you. Just go ahead, okay? We're all backing you up, no matter what you do.] She nodded to him, putting the PDA face down on the table.

"Okay, thanks," Izaya looked over at Alicia. "I'm guessing you're coming, too?"

"O-Oh, yeah! Right, sorry. I was the one driving. Okay, so, are you ready?" She asked.

"Yeah, okay," Izaya shrugged in reply. The two exited the store, meeting up with Shizuo. He had his glasses on and his hands in his pockets.

"We leaving now?" Shizuo asked.

"Yep," Alicia sighed. "Geez, I'm tired…" She walked over to her car and unlocked the doors, getting in. "Buckle up."

The two did as told, Shizuo sitting in the passenger seat and Izaya sitting in back. He looked over at the seat next to him and flinched. "Shizu-chan, there's a blonde woman sleeping back here."

The blonde looked up at Izaya. "?" A small smile appeared on her face. "My name is Vorona. You are registered as 'The Flea'. Is this correct?" she asked.

"…" Izaya stared at her for a moment.

"Oh, yeah. That's Vorona. She sort of… lives with me now," Shizuo looked back at the two.

"_Lives_ with you? How many women are you involved with?" Izaya asked.

"Why? You jealous?" Shizuo laughed. Izaya felt a blush on his face.

"Why would I possibly be jealous..?" he mumbled, looking away. "I'm not jealous…"

Vorona felt his chest for his heartbeat. "Hm." She felt his forehead. "Face heated up. Flushed. Quickened heartbeat. Conclusion: Madly jealous," she looked over at Shizuo. He smiled.

"Interesting," he looked back at Alicia, who was smiling. "What's up with you?"

She didn't move her gaze from the road. "I'm just thinking about what a great night we had today. Did you have fun, Izaya?"

"Ne," was his only reply.

"I hope you can have just as much fun… tomorrow," her smile became increasingly twisted and evil-looking. Shizuo sighed, staring at the floor.

"Yeah. Right," he shook his head, rubbing his temples. "Oh, my God…"

"What, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked.

"Nothing. You don't have to worry about it," Shizuo lied. "Ugh…"

Vorona looked at Izaya blankly. "They have somebody who is-"

"Vorona, shut it," Shizuo ordered.

Vorona's mouth immediately closed and she looked away from Izaya, staring out the window.

"I hope you have a nice time as well," she said quietly, but that was it.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUNNNN! Welp, that was a HUGE part of the story. I hope you all have a great time trying to guess who's behind all the crap that's happening to Izaya! ^^ So, have a nice day! Happy New Year's, once again!**

**Izaya: Come onnnn, Luka~chaaaan? Tell me who's behind this and I'll bake you cookies~**

**Me: No.**

**Izaya: ... I thought you loved me.**

**Me: I do love you, and that's why you're trapped in my closet as I write stories about you being depressed.**

**Izaya: Well, can't you write something about Shizu-chan being depressed?**

**Me: I already am. That's why he's next to you in the closet.**

**Shizuo: I hate you all and myself. **


	7. Just A Game

**This is one of the shorter chapters, and this is also all I have to say. xD Enjoy. **

* * *

Shizuo stood in the kitchen, keeping his eye on the microwave as he spoke on the phone. He was making hot chocolate for Izaya, who was watching television on the couch outside.

"Okay… Good. Great, actually. Now, you just have to get closer to him," the voice on the other end said casually.

"How?" Shizuo asked, trying his best to be quiet. "What, propose to him or something?" he asked sarcastically. Oh, boy.

"Sure, that would work. Well, I'll call later today to see what happens. Bye," then, there was the call waiting beep. Shizuo had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, but as long as it was his job…

Shizuo had always done his job.

He took the hot chocolate out of the microwave, walking back out into the living room and setting it down on the table. Izaya reached for it, but winced when he touched the cup, taking his hand back immediately. "Ne," he shuddered. "Hot."

Shizuo frowned. "Yeah… Careful, you might hurt yourself," he said quietly. But he knew that whatever was going to happen to Izaya after that, whatever was going to happen tomorrow night… It was going to be a lot more serious and a lot worse than a little, pathetic burn. He sat down next to Izaya on the couch, staring at the television, yet having absolutely no idea what was going on- as he was too deep in his own thoughts for entertainment.

Izaya snuggled up next to him, using Shizuo's chest as a pillow. "Ahn... Shizu-chan?"

"Huh?" Shizuo asked, snapping back to reality.

"You seem… different," Izaya shrugged. "Like you're bothered."

Shizuo tapped his foot. How was he actually going to propose? No. No, the man must have been kidding. He wasn't kidding. HE WAS. Nope. He couldn't have been kidding with that voice he was using. But he'd never tell Shizuo to propose to Izaya. So, he was totally kidding.

_He wasn't kidding,_ Shizuo concluded.

"Hey, flea..?" Shizuo looked over at him.

"Hn?" Izaya looked back at him. Their eyes, staring like that… It seemed to stop time altogether.

"… I… think your drink is cooler now," Shizuo averted his gaze, looking back at the television.

_Please be kidding…_ he thought to himself, not daring to look back at the raven-haired man.

Izaya picked up the drink, surprised at how nice and warm it felt on his hands. He brought it to his lips, taking a sip every few seconds.

"Thank you," he mumbled.

_Well… This is going to be a long day,_ Shizuo yawned.

- Meanwhile (Y'know, I'm beginning to think I abuse the Meanwhile xD) -

[Shinra… Do you really think it'll help?] Celty seemed to stare at him. [I mean, really… _Honestly_.]

Shinra stared at where Celty's face should have been with a small smile. "Come on, Celty, when have I ever let you down?" he asked.

[Most recently? This morning, when you gave me a job that was supposedly easy.] She shook her 'head.' [I just don't think that we can help Izaya.]

"No! Of course we can help Izaya!" Shinra protested. "If Izaya's only friend can do anything for him, it's help him!"

Celty seemed a bit confused. [Only friend..?]

Shinra rubbed the back of his head. "Well, yeah. I mean, I was the only one who would really approach him with positive intentions. I just wasn't afraid of him, and actually liked him. I was the only one, though…"

[Oh…] Celty 'sighed.' She'd never cared about Izaya- rather feeling quite negative about him- but somehow, wanted to help him. [Wait, but… Aren't they watching?]

"Yeah, probably. It doesn't matter what they think though, so it's okay. Even if they torture, or even kill me, as long as you're alive and Iza-san is Iza-san, I'm fine. I just want everything to be right," Shinra shrugged, looking at her.

Celty held her PDA up to Shinra. [You said you didn't give me my head back… Because you were willing to sacrifice my-and anyone else's- happiness for your own… But now…]

"Now, I care about you more than anything. Honestly, I just want the world you live in to be… like it should," Shinra smiled at her. "And, you can't have a right world without a… creepy and sadistic Izaya. I know it sounds crazy, but… My happiness is nothing compared to yours."

Instead of the usual punch or slap, Celty hugged Shinra tightly. She put her PDA back in her pocket as Shinra hugged her back.

She quickly pulled away, once again grabbing her PDA. [Wait! But… Won't they just get to Izaya sooner if they know we're trying to help?]

And Celty was right.

Shizuo's phone rang. "Hm..? I wasn't expecting a callback so early…" He picked it up. "Hello?"

"We're here."

"You're not supposed to… But what about tomorrow night?" Shizuo asked, his eyes widening.

Izaya watched in confusion as Shizuo nodded, putting the phone down. "Izaya…" Shizuo stared at the raven seriously. He pulled him into a hug. "I'm so, so, sorry…" He released him taking a few steps back. The door opened and three men came in, two of them guards. They grabbed Izaya, one holding him down and the other handcuffing him. Izaya was so obviously filled with horror.

"S-Shizu-chan..?" Izaya felt tears well in his eyes as Shizuo stood back and did nothing, his face absolutely expressionless. Izaya weakened at the sight. How could Shizuo not care? It was even worse when he accidentally shifted his weight to his left leg. He didn't care, though. Everything he said came out in sobs.

"I can't believe you would do this to me! I was right! You're just a stupid protozoan!" Izaya screamed at Shizuo. Shizuo showed no reaction, though he was practically dying inside. "I hate you!"

That was the last thing Izaya could say before being dragged out of the house.

- Three Hours Later -

The door to Izaya's cell opened, and the same man that were at Shizuo's house with the other two guards entered.

"How does it feel, Izaya Orihara?" the man leaned over to stare in Izaya's face. _"How does it feel to have everyone you thought you controlled turn against you?"_

Izaya didn't reply.

"Ah, I see. So, you don't know how this is supposed to go. Well, let me give you a little hint… I ask you the questions, and you answer them? Okay? Did I make myself clear?"

Izaya still didn't reply.

The man frowned, his eyes narrowing. "I'm going easy on you today… But tomorrow… Your life is going to be a living hell," he hissed, leaving the cell and locking it.

_How does it feel to have everyone you thought you controlled turn against you?_

Izaya thought about the words, and nothing else. Not about betrayal, or anger, or angst. He just kept asking himself- What _did_ it feel like?

Of course, he never _truly_ thought he controlled all of these people. It was just a game, a little something to keep him occupied.

But now that everyone was against him…

He had no idea what to think. Everything he did always had a purpose, and was always thoroughly thought out. But not this time.

This time, he was winging it.

* * *

**Okay, so, you guys GET that this is the biggest chapter ever made in this story ever, right? (And yes, I meant to use ever twice. xD) It was really important to the story, so pay attention from here on out! Bai o3o**

**I'll see you tomorrow, my amazing pawns.**


	8. Five, Zero, Six, Three

**NOOOOOOOO~~~ IZAYAAAA! **

**Izaya: WHAT? What would you POSSIBLY want with me?**

**Shizuo: I-Izaya ;-;**

**Izaya: ...**

**Me: Aaanyways...**

**Sorry about that. xD Ehehehe... So, anyways, I have everything from here on out planned, and you're going to love AND hate me for the story ending. 3 I don't know what chapter I'm going to end at yet, but it's going to be a lot longer. ^^**

* * *

"I don't understand…" Shizuo shook his head, sitting at a table with Kida, Mikado, Anri, Celty, Shinra, Alicia, Vorona, Tom, Namie, Kasuka, _Kururi, and Mairu._ Yep, the two sisters who definitely weren't dead and/or captured (and definitely sitting on either side of Kasuka). "Why did we agree to this?"

[I hate how quiet it is now… And, I mean, it's not like we _hate_ Izaya, but…] Celty looked over at Shinra. [He does only have one friend.]

Shinra nodded seriously. "We want to help him, but we have to find out how. We don't even know where he is."

Mairu frowned. "I didn't know… what would happen… if we did this… but, now… I feel horrible…"

Kururi nodded in agreement. "I think I know where he is, though. He always has at least three mobile cellphones on him."

"Affirmative," Vorona said to Kururi. "But his captors may not know, and confiscate only one of them. If correct, then we could track him down through his mobile phone number."

"But we'd still have to know which number it is," Mikado sighed. "And if it's the wrong one…"

"But how are we going to find out which phone he has or doesn't have? If we call him and the phone is on him, then obviously, the guards would find out. And if it's the wrong one, we're _all_ in trouble," Masaomi shrugged. "If we're actually going to reverse what we've been doing for the past month, we need to be _good._ And I mean, _really good._"

"…" Anri looked down at the table. "But, then again, we could just take their leader and force them to give Izaya back."

Kasuka spoke up. "No, they wouldn't have any true attachment to their leader. It would be easy for them to elect a new one."

Mairu and Kururi practically melted at everything that Kasuka said.

Shizuo tapped his fingers against the table. "Every second we waste planning this crap is another second that passes by. It only takes a second for a bullet to go through your head, or for a knife to pierce your heart. Every second we waste is another second that might make everything we're doing useless."

[Shizuo…] Celty nodded. [I agree. We have to do this fast.]

"Kururi, do you know which phones he has right now?" Shinra asked.

"Well, sick or depressed or whatnot, Izaya would still be speaking to his clients, whether by text or voice. So, since today is Friday… Hm... I'll write down the numbers for you," she replied.

Vorona pitched in again. "Yes, and if she's correct, then there would be two phones in the same location, while the remaining one in a separate room or building."

"Ah, but what if they found two phones?" Masaomi asked.

"Then, obviously… We're going to have some trouble with whoever took them," Shizuo closed his eyes. He couldn't relax, no matter what he did. He'd always be thinking, or doing something, or-

"Yeah… Alright, Shinra, could you do that for us?" Mairu asked.

Namie rolled her eyes. "I don't know why I'm here, but if he doesn't raise my pay after this, I'm quitting."

Tom waved his hand. "Ah, don't worry, Namie. He probably won't, but he'll get a new assistant."

Namie shot him a glare. Alicia giggled.

"Well, then, we just have to hope that this plan actually does work. It's not even much of a plan, more of a search and destroy. Or… search and rescue. I forgot which one," Alicia smiled. "But at least, by the end of all this, we will all have Izaya in our lives once again!"

Shizuo stood up. "Call us when you have the location, Shinra."

Shinra frowned, seeing just how upset Shizuo was. "I will," he reassured him. "Meeting dismissed… But Shizuo, c'mere for a second." Everyone stood up, said their goodbyes, and left the room… besides Shizuo.

"Yeah?" he asked Shinra.

"You know that even when we get him back, he's not going to be himself, right? He needs to get over this himself, or take some medication to end it or something. And even then, do you really want things to go back to the way they were?" Shinra asked with a frown.

"… Shinra…" Shizuo smiled for once. "Things are never going to go back to the way they were. I can tell you that. See ya."

- An Hour Later -

Izaya leaned his head against the wall, his knees hugged to his chest. He wasn't sure if the liquid running down his cheeks were tears or blood, or both. He just wanted to end it all. He cringed when he heard the door open. It was one of the female guards.

"Hey," she said quietly, closing the door. She set a plate in front of him. "It's Ootoro. I heard it was your favorite?"

Izaya looked down at the plate. "Not hungry," he replied.

"Oh… Okay…" The guard looked around. She sat next to Izaya, whispering into his ear. "Your friends are planning to break you out of here, okay? Here, let me see one of your phones."

Izaya looked at her like she was crazy.

"Give it up, I know you're lying," she held her hand out. Izaya sighed and took a phone out of his jacket pocket and dropped it into her hand. "I can't believe those idiots didn't find this one. Okay…" She scrolled through the contacts. "Thank you. I'll be right back, okay?" She stood up and left the cell, closing and locking it behind her. She found the contact she was looking for. _The name was Shinra, right? Yeah, Shinra. Okay…_ She pressed the 'call' button. "Here we go…"

"Hello? Izaya?" Shinra whispered.

"No, it's one of the guards," she whispered back. Shinra seemed to hiss. "Don't hiss at me, mister! Rude!" She shook her head. "No, no. Okay, what I was trying to tell you was that we're at the building two doors to the right of Russia Sushi. When you get to the elevator, there's a button that said 'B1.' Press it, and then a keypad will come up and ask you to type in a password. Put in 5063. It'll lead you to the halls, then I'll take you to Izaya from there on, okay?"

Shinra blinked. "What?"

"I am trying to help you, okay?" the guard heard footsteps. "Oh, crap, I gotta go. Bye, I'll call you in a little bit! Just follow my instructions, okay!?" She entered Izaya's cell once again and handed his phone back to him. He put it back where it was. The guard smiled when she saw that the plate she set down was completely clear. "Not hungry, huh?" she laughed. She left the cell, locking it behind her, and walked past the guards that were strolling through the halls. She leaned back against the wall at the entrance of the halls and waited, hoping that Shinra would be there soon. He had to be.

- Meanwhile -

Shinra set the phone down. "Hm… That was interesting. I'll call everyone back tomorrow." He looked back at Celty, who was listening to the entire conversation.

[No! But… You have to call them now!] She was practically panicking. [Shizuo's going to be so angry, and-]

"Why would I be angry?" Shizuo asked. He'd entered the house at about the time she typed that. "Oh, I just came to ask if I could help with anything."

Both Shinra and Celty were staring at him.

"Shizuo… I want you to do something for me. Celty, could you go with him?" Shinra asked. "She knows what to do, so just ask her." Shinra handed a piece of paper to Celty.

"What is it..?" Shizuo asked, somewhat reluctant.

[It's… Izaya.] Celty looked down, putting the paper in her pocket. [Alright, so we need to get to Russia Sushi, and quick.]

Shizuo nodded. "I'll kill whoever did this," he said, walking out the door. Celty followed, tossing him a helmet. She got on her bike, Shizuo sitting behind her. "Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill…" He repeated over, and over, and over again. But for once, Celty didn't mind.

When they finally reached Russia Sushi, Simon looked puzzled.

"Celty? Shizuo? Why are you here together?" he asked. "You eat sushi, no?"

"Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill…"

"Oh… Never mind, then. Violence is never the answer, Shizuo. Just remember," he said, before going back to handing out flyers.

[Shizuo, come on. Let's go.] Celty got off of the bike, Shizuo's helmet dissipating into thin air. She turned to the right and began to walk, looking down at the paper Shinra had given her. [Two doors down… Okay, so it's this one?]She pointed to a large building.

"Hm… I don't know, you have the paper," Shizuo shrugged. Celty nodded.

[Okay, so it should be this one… Wait… The code's all jumbled up. I can't tell if that's 6062 or 5063 or _what._] She 'sighed'. [Could you help me out with this?]

"Um… I don't know. I think Shinra spilled his coffee on it," Shizuo stared at the paper in thought. Just then, the guard exited the building, only to be greeted by two 'stares', one from Shizuo, and one from Celty.

"… Hi. I'm looking for a guy named Shinra, have you two seen him?" she asked.

Shizuo's eyes widened. "Shinra? Wait, are you the one who called?"

[Yes! Yes, that's the one! Oh, my God… That's her voice!] Celty was trembling with excitement and fear at the same time.

"I'm Shizuo Heiwajima," Shizuo nodded to the guard. She seemed to flinch, but nodded back.

"Okay, I'll lead you two there," She grabbed their hands, running into the building quickly. She pulled them into the elevator, sighing when it shut. "I was beginning to think that you guys weren't going to come… Thank God you did." She pressed the 'B1' button, entering the code.

"So it _was_ 5063," Shizuo stated. Right before the elevator reached its destination, it stopped. All the lights turned off as well.

Celty shook her 'head' (helmet) repeatedly. [No, not now…]

"I got this," Shizuo sighed. He got a good grip on both of the doors and pulled them open with brute force. When the pathway was clear, he walked out and turned, watching the other two exit with relief. "Okay, so what now?" They all heard the faint sound of footsteps.

The guard mumbled something in a different language, quickly grabbing Shizuo and Celty and handcuffing the two. "Now… To your cells!" she ordered. Shizuo looked at Celty in surprise, but she just shook her head, as if to say, 'Don't escape.'

As others passed by, they nodded to the girl in respect, and vice-versa. She finally reached Izaya's cell, and after making sure the coast was clear, she un-cuffed Shizuo and Celty. "Here it is."

She attempted to unlock the cell. "Wait… But… It's not working!"

"What do you mean it's not-"

Shizuo froze when he heard pained cries and screams. _Izaya…_ He gently pushed the girl away from the lock, grabbing it and ripping it off of the door. The door swung open. Shizuo's eyes widened. Celty backed up a few steps. The guard stood in shame and guilt.

And there was Izaya, getting abused by a red-haired man. Blood was dripping down his head, arms, and torso. And, honestly?

Izaya just didn't care anymore.

* * *

**Yep, this is going to escalate a lot more than it already has. x3 But, then again, Izaya's rescue mission won't take up much of the rest of the story. WHAT WILL, YOU ASK!?**

**Vorona: I don't believe anyone-**

**I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. THAT WOULD BE A SPOILER.**

**Vorona: ... I didn't want to know, anywa-**

**SHHHHHHH...**

**Vorona: ...**


	9. A Month Apart

**Second time updating today ^^" I... Think. Okay, so, anyways... This is one of the last chapters! Maybe Two or Three more... ^^ But I hope you enjoy! :3**

* * *

Shizuo, without thinking, grabbed the redhead's hair and pulled him back from Izaya, pushing him to the ground and crushing his skull with his foot. Izaya wasn't paying any attention, not even knowing who was in the room. The foot that crushed the poor man's head walked towards Izaya slowly. Izaya couldn't help but look up, seeing a hand outstretched to him.

"S-Shizuo…" Izaya stuttered. The first time he'd gotten Shizuo's name right, and Shizuo didn't even notice.

"Izaya. We're going home, now," Shizuo smiled at him.

Izaya looked down. _Home._ It was that word again. "_Home…_" He winced when Shizuo picked him up, but eventually relaxed. His cuts, bruises, and wounds didn't mean anything to him anymore. He slowly felt himself lose consciousness. "Shizu-chan..?"

"Yes?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya snuggled into his chest. "You're a protozoan. A big, stupid protozoan."

Shizuo smiled a bit. "Yeah. I guess I am."

Izaya smiled back, before his eyes closed. His breathing intensified, letting Shizuo know he probably fell asleep and was beginning another nightmare.

"Night, Eskimo."

- One Month Later -

Izaya woke up to a blinding light. He shielded his eyes with his arm. "N-Ne..?"

"Morning!" Shinra's voice sang. "You want something to eat or drink?"

When Izaya's eyes finally adjusted to the lighting that was so different from the cell he'd gotten so used to. He looked down at his arms, which were smooth and wound-free. He felt his face, then his forehead, his torso… Absolutely no cuts, bruises, etc. He looked up at Shinra. "… Huh?"

"Oh, that's nothing!" Shinra smiled. "Hey, guess what? I'm not your only friend anymore!"

"… Huh!?" Izaya stood up, immediately losing his balance.

"Woooooaaahhh, slow down, there!" Shinra exclaimed, catching him before he fell. "You have a few visitors in the living room, though! I'll get the wheelchair, hold on!" Shinra ran to the back of the room, unfolding a wheelie-chair and setting it in front of the bed. Izaya sighed, sitting in it.

Shinra happily wheeled Izaya out to the living room. Standing around, just having a normal conversation in the room, was Celty, Vorona, Alicia, Mairu, Kururi, Kasuka, Tom, Mikado, Anri, Masaomi, and… Shizuo. Shizuo got up from the couch, eyes wide.

"I-Izaya," he stuttered. Shinra hadn't told them about Izaya waking up, instead just inviting them over for a gathering. Izaya turned away. "I'm going to go home… I… Probably have a lot of work to do." He stood up, balancing himself with the wall. He suddenly got a harsh migraine, falling to his knees. Celty walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. [Izaya?]

Izaya smiled up at her. "I'm fine…"

Shizuo walked over to Izaya. "… I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize… You monster," Izaya backed up to the wall. "Get away from me. I'm going home." He attempted to go around Shizuo, but Shizuo blocked his way.

"Don't… I…" Shizuo sighed, frowning at him.

"I said get away…" Izaya averted his gaze. He just didn't want to look into the man's eyes.

"Izaya, I didn't know. Okay? I just want you to forgive me. That's all. I don't care if you never speak to me again. I know you're angry with me, I just-" Shizuo was cut off by Izaya.

"I'm not angry. I'm just… disappointed. Now… Let me go," Izaya pushed past Shizuo, walking towards the door. Mairu and Kururi ran up to him.

"Izzy, don't go!" Mairu whined.

"We missed you…" Kururi looked up at him. Izaya smiled sadly, leaning down to hug the two girls. He sighed.

"You two… stay strong for me, okay?" Izaya asked, closing his eyes.

"Eh?" Mairu looked at her brother in confusion. "What do you… mean?"

Izaya shook his head, his smile fading as he stood up. "Well, see ya. It's… been real." He opened the door, before looking back at Shinra. "Oh, and… thanks. Alright, well… Bye," he stepped outside and sighed, continuing to walk until he once again reached the top of the building that he'd visited nightly just months before. He frowned, standing on the edge and looking over. He was about to finally jump before hearing a voice- one that had saved him too many times before.

"I knew you'd be here."

"…" Izaya didn't reply. He just wanted Shizuo to leave. He had betrayed Izaya, and caused him so much pain… Right?

"Izaya, I just want to know you're safe," Shizuo frowned and walked over to the edge, standing next to Izaya. The wind began to blow harshly as the sky darkened ever so slightly, tinting to a beautiful orange-ish color. Izaya wondered how it was possible for time to go so quickly when he was there. "Could you at least just let me take you back home?"

Izaya still didn't reply. Shizuo sighed and took Izaya's hand, pulling him away from the edge. Izaya was still staring at the ground below before being taken out of range. He didn't struggle or fight against Shizuo, not having the strength to. Plus, even if he did, he simply couldn't focus.

He blinked when he realized that Shizuo was taking him back to his apartment. He didn't want to go back there. He just… _didn't_.

Shizuo dragged Izaya into the elevator, up twelve floors, and to his apartment. "Under the mat, right?" he asked. When Izaya didn't reply (again), he shook his head and checked under the welcome mat. He slipped the key out from under it and unlocked the apartment.

"Hm? Oh… Great," Namie looked up from her computer, sitting at her desk.

Shizuo smiled at her, pulling Izaya into his bedroom.

Namie watched. "… Even better," she sighed, beginning to type once again.

Shizuo sat Izaya down on the bed, and Izaya laid down, not wanting to face reality anymore today. Shizuo pulled a blanket over Izaya's body.

"… You know… I really screwed up big this time," Shizuo said quietly. "If I knew what would happen… I wouldn't have hesitated to kill that guy."

Izaya stared at the wall, noticing he was shaking. He was trying his best to completely focus on Shizuo's words.

"But, as I said, I really hate violence," Shizuo laughed a bit. "I'm practically violence itself. Though… I guess it doesn't matter. I hate myself, anyway. So, it goes along, doesn't it?" He paused before continuing. "I just… never thought I'd be so comfortable around you. But… Right now, I'm really stressed out. You gotta know that… At first, it was because you weren't here. Now… It's because you're acting like I'm not."

Izaya shifted in the bed, turning to face Shizuo instead of the opposing wall. He stared at Shizuo intently, somewhat calmed by his words. Shizuo didn't know, though.

"So… Could you just say something? Please?" Shizuo asked, looking back at him.

Izaya hesitated for a few moments. After all, he hadn't been speaking for a while in a few months, and he'd actually gotten used to being silent. "S-Shi… Shizu-chan..." Izaya closed his eyes, curling up into a small ball under the blanket. "Shizu-chan," Izaya repeated.

Shizuo smiled in relief. "Yeah. Thanks, Izaya." He pulled the younger male up and hugged him. "I needed that…"

Izaya was reluctant, but Shizuo was hugging him in a way that Izaya kind of… couldn't move his arms to hug him back. So, it didn't matter.

"I always wanted a fairy-tale ending, even when I was a kid," Izaya sighed. "I always wanted to die peacefully, satisfied with my life. I just didn't know how wrong I was to think it was possible. I just wanted a happy ending, I guess. I didn't care what happened after my death, but I at least wanted it to be the one part of my life where it's not complete and total oblivion."

"You'll get your fairytale ending, Izaya…" Shizuo released him. "I can tell."

Izaya looked away. "I don't even care about it anymore. I'm not sure if I'm dreaming or not right now, either."

"Why would you be dreaming?" Shizuo asked softly.

"Well, because… I feel… happy," Izaya looked back up at him. Shizuo frowned when he saw tears welling up in Izaya's wine red eyes. "And even though I am, I feel like I shouldn't be. I feel like… I'm going to wake up, back there, waiting for something- _anything _- to finally kill me…"

"Izaya, it's not a dream," Shizuo stared at him.

Izaya smiled, sitting in Shizuo's lap and resting his head on his chest. "Shizu-chan?"

"What is it?"

"…" Izaya's smile grew, just a little bit. "You make a good pillow."

Shizuo laughed a bit, laying down so he was face-to-face with Izaya. "If you say so."

Izaya's phone rang and he looked down at it, taking it out of his pocket. He sat up. "Hello..?" He paused for a few seconds. "Hm? Alright, I'll be waiting. Come before 6:00. I'm busy afterwards. Alright, then, it's a date!"

These words alarmed Shizuo for some reason. He sat up, now listening to Izaya's phone call. Izaya smiled at him and rested on his shoulder.

"Okay, not a date. I was just kidding, Mika-chan!" Izaya hung up, setting the phone on the nightstand. "What are _you_ so shaken up about, Shizu-chan?" Izaya teased.

"N-Nothing," Shizuo looked away.

Izaya smiled, placing a soft kiss on Shizuo's cheek. "Ne, I was just kidding, Shizu-chan."

"W-What do you mean?" Shizuo gulped.

"Nothing," Izaya closed his eyes. "I'm tired…"

"Then take a nap."

"That's what I'm _doing_."

"Okay, well you don't have to be rude."

"_I'm_ being rude!?"

"Yes, you are!"

"Well, so are you!"

"I-zaaayaaaaaa…"

"… Good night, Shizu-chan."

Izaya laid down on the pillow, smiling when Shizuo pulled a blanket over him. "Some things never change," he whispered to himself. Shizuo heard and looked down at him, a small smile on his face.

He stood up, taking one step away from Izaya before Izaya grabbed his wrist.

"Shizu-chan, where are you going?" Izaya asked, disappointed.

"Er… Home, why?"

"Because… I don't want Shizu-chan to go anywhere."

There was innocence in Izaya's voice. And for some reason, Shizuo didn't want to go either.

"Well, you're taking a nap and all," Shizuo shrugged. "I can't just sit here until you wake up."

"Then I won't take a name," Izaya smiled, standing up and walking next to him. His stomach growled, and he remembered. "Oh, right, I haven't eaten in a month."

"You wants something?" Shizuo asked.

"Ootoro!" Izaya cheered.

"Pancakes, eggs, and bacon it is," Shizuo walked into the kitchen and began cooking.

"…" Izaya sat on the couch and turned on the television. "Oh, it's Kasuka. HEY SHIZU-CHAN, YOUR CREEPY BROTHER IS ON THE TELEVISION AGAIN!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL," Shizuo said in the same tone of voice.

Izaya sighed, turning the television off. "Ne," he stood up and walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the table. He immediately smelled the bacon. "Mm." he smiled.

Shizuo set three plates on the table.

"Why three?" Izaya asked.

"Because there's a woman in this apartment who's come to work every day since you disappeared, and honestly, I think she deserves some breakfast. Hey, Namie?" He called out.

"What?" She walked into the kitchen, looking at Shizuo with a devil-may-care expression.

"I made you breakfast," Shizuo pulled out a chair for her. She smiled, sitting down.

"Why, thank you, Shizuo," She said, her hands in her laps and her stare focused on Izaya. Her lips curved into a smirk. "Why don't _you _ever do this stuff? He doesn't even _live_ here and he knows how to treat a woman."

"Ne," Izaya looked down at his food and began to eat. He smiled as he continued eating. "This is good," he said cheerfully.

"I can tell," Shizuo smiled, eating his own food as well. Namie seemed delighted, as well.

"You know, I could use someone like you here while I'm all stressed from work, Shizuo. Thanks for this," Namie chuckled.

Shizuo nodded. "No problem, it was my pleasure."

Izaya's smile slowly disappeared over the period of breakfast.

While Namie was done and went back to work, and Shizuo had taken everyone's plates and began to wash the dishes, Izaya was still sitting there at the table. He watched Shizuo, not saying a word to disrupt him. Shizuo glanced over his shoulder at Izaya, seeing his frown.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, finishing the dishes and drying his hands, sitting down next to Izaya. Izaya just shook his head. "Not speaking again?" Shizuo frowned. "Alright... Well… You want to sit down, watch TV?"

Izaya hesitated, seemingly thinking about it for a moment. "…" He nodded. Shizuo picked him up, knowing that Izaya wouldn't stand up himself. He brought Izaya to the couch and sat down, dropping Izaya next to him. Izaya leaned on Shizuo's side once again.

"What do you want to watch?" Shizuo asked. Izaya only shrugged. Shizuo stared at him for a moment before looking back at the television and switching the channel, pausing when he got to Kasuka once again. "Hm. This okay?"

"Okay, we could watch your creepy brother," Izaya said, almost inaudibly.

Shizuo smiled down at him. "Izaya?"

"?" Izaya looked up.

"I think you should take a shower and get ready for bed soon. It's getting late, okay?" Shizuo asked. Izaya nodded blankly. Shizuo sighed. He never thought he'd think this, but he couldn't wait for Izaya to be arrogant again.

* * *

**:))) This chapter just warmed me up xD S, hope you enjoyed. Bye~!**

**R&R! :)**


	10. Some Things Never Change

**Well, my friends... We are reaching the end of our journey. Also, if you'd like, you can roleplay with me in the private messages! ^^ I get really bored... A LOT. So, anyways... This is one of the very last chapters... It actually wasn't depressing this time. xD But believe me, the next chapter is by far the most depressing and sad chapter I have. xD So, I might do TWO more chapters, but there will most likely only be 11 in this story.  
Speaking of Eleven, if you watch Doctor Who, R.I.P.**

**And... Akari Yukimura Yes, Kururi _was_ "dead", but that was all just part of the ruse to get Izaya captured. In chapter eight, when it mentioned who was speaking at the little "Search and Rescue" meeting, it said:**

**And _Kururi and Mairu_, Izaya's twin sisters who were definitely not dead and/or captured.**

**So, I hope that cleared it up for anyone and everyone who was confused by that. ^^**

* * *

Izaya woke up in Shizuo's bed, balled up in the middle of it. He sat up, rubbing his head. "Ne..? Shizu-chan?" He tilted his head, wondering how he got to Shizuo's house. He looked around, seeing a small note written on the nightstand.

_Out grocery shopping. DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE._

_-Shizuo_

"Hm, I wonder why he put that in caps… I kind of want to go outside… for some… fresh… air…" He looked down at the note once again and put it back where it was. "I never got that," he said. He was about to leave the room, when he looked over at Shizuo's closet. He saw nothing but bartender getups. "Expected," Izaya took one of them out, looking at it. "Hm…"

And in mere minutes, Izaya was dressed up as the blonde, somehow even managing to get a blonde wig to match. He looked in the mirror, seeing that the outfit was a bit too big, but shrugged. "I wonder…" He left the room, then the house, and eventually was wandering the streets of Ikebukuro. It was somewhat scary how much he looked like Shizuo, but, after all, makeup is magc, right? People immediately recognized him as the 'monster of Ikebukuro', backing up. The only person who noticed it was Izaya was Simon. As Izaya passed, Simon stopped him.

"You not Shizuo," he stared at Izaya.

"I know, I know," Izaya smiled weakly at him. "I just got bored, I guess."

"Ah… Oh, okay. Fine. Have a nice day… Shizuo."

Izaya chuckled, continuing to walk. A small gang stopped him. He tilted his head, somewhat confused. "Hm? Another interruption?"

"Well, well, we FOUNDDDD you~!" The leader sang.

"Yeah, what's your point?" Izaya asked. "Obviously you found me, you didn't find anyone else, and if you were looking for me, I'm right here, and thus, there's really nothing to note besides your observation skills and the fact that you point out the obvious."

"Shut it, blondie!" The man growled.

"Shut _what?_ Shut _it?_ You didn't refer to any part of my body, so I suppose shutting my EYES would work, as well as shutting my MOUTH, but you never said _anything_ about what to shut, so how would I know? Should I close all of my skin pores as well to satisfy you?" Izaya asked.

The man growled again, throwing a punch at him. Izaya dodged it easily.

Another member of the gang grabbed his arms, and he wasn't able to get out of his grip. Izaya may have _looked_ like Shizuo, but he obviously didn't have the strength. A different member laughed, stabbing Izaya's arm.

"You happy now!?" he yelled. "You having fun anymore!?"

Izaya felt panic rush through him. No. _No._ This couldn't be happening. He just escaped torture, and now he was going through it again. He had to take a few more punches and kicks until the man who was holding him fell to the ground, blood dripping down his neck.

Izaya grabbed the knife and pulled it out of his shoulder, wincing. He quickly turned around, dropping the knife.

"Shizu-chan…" he felt tears swelling in his eyes.

"Are you sure that's me? Because I think that might be you," Shizuo smiled sadly at him. The last gang member took a gun and pointed it at Izaya's head.

"G-Give us back our money, Shizuo! Or… We'll shoot him!" He exclaimed, his hands shaking.

Shizuo's  
smile disappeared and his eyes narrowed. "I'm _sorry?_ If you so much as touch him, I'll make sure nobody comes to your funeral."

The remaining gang took this as an invitation to flee, and ran away. Izaya was trembling as he brought his hand up to softly touch his stab wound, wincing. "Shizu-chan… I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You get bored, I know… You just… Have to be careful," Shizuo scooped Izaya up in his arms, handing him his grocery bags. "Think you could carry these?"

Izaya nodded, sighing shakily. His face was paler than normal. "Y-You're not mad?"

"Nah," Shizuo didn't look down at him, though. "Just… Don't wear my clothes again. I took the liberty of going into your apartment and getting _your_ clothes out. They're in the wash right now."

Izaya nodded once again. "Shizu-chan?"

"Hm?" Shizuo asked.

"… I… I'm bleeding," Izaya sighed. He pointed at the stab wound. Shizuo stopped and looked down. He frowned.

"Izaya…" His voice seemed to be angry for a moment. He just shook his head. "Alright, then we're going to Shinra's…"

Izaya just blinked and looked down. "No, I'm fine… I could patch it up myself."

"You know how?"

"I learned over the years."

"How?"

"Well, somehow, vending machines and signs come flying at me from out of nowhere."

Shizuo nearly dropped Izaya. _He did it? He hurt Izaya?_ "Oh," was his only response. "Well, then… I guess we could just go home."

And so, in about five minutes, they were back at Shizuo's humble abode. Shizuo dropped Izaya on the couch and Izaya got up, walking to the medicine cabinet and getting the needed items.

"You can walk perfectly fine," Shizuo said.

"I know," Izaya shrugged. "But Shizu-chan never gave me a chance to."

"…" Shizuo sighed. Izaya was actually right- Shizuo had picked him up without even asking if he could move or whatever, but he knew that Izaya would rather not do any work, anyway. "Yeah, whatever…"

Izaya bit the inside of his cheek as he slowly rubbed alcohol on the edge of his wound, cleaning the dry blood. "A-Ahn…"

"You okay?" Shizuo asked, watching him.

Izaya nodded, finally stopping. "Just some… Ahem. Minor difficulties," he replied. He then proceeded to wrap a bandage around it, layering it for good measure. It wasn't too deep a wound, so he didn't have to go to the extreme measures of getting stitches and all.

"So…" Shizuo tapped his foot awkwardly. "How do you feel?"

"Really lightheaded and confused," Izaya replied.

"Oh," Shizuo nodded. Somehow, after all this time, he still half-expected Izaya to call it off and say it was all a joke, that his Shizu-chan was a big protozoan and that he got him once again. But, of course, nobody would go this far for a joke. "So, um..."

"Hm?" Izaya asked, looking up at him.

"Have you, kind of, um, well, realized that… er… you're not being a sadistic, mocking, cocky, arrogant-"

"Shizu-chan, please get to the point," Izaya sighed.

"Well, you're not being _you_," Shizuo frowned at him.

"Shizuo…" Izaya turned to him, shocking him by the use of his real name. "Could I tell you a story?" he asked.

"Um… Sure?" Shizuo tilted his head, listening to whatever Izaya had to say.

"When I was in elementary school… Before I met you _or_ Shinra, I was always alone. Nobody ever approached me, and I was fine with that. The only real contact I'd have with anyone would be if they were insulting me or I was insulting them, but that's it. And so, in middle school, Shinra came along and treated me as a friend. He wasn't afraid of me, and for once, I met someone who I actually had a shot at with being friends. I was actually excited when he wanted to introduce me to Shizuo Heiwajima. I heard a girl call you 'Shizu-chan' over the phone at one of our locker breaks, and I didn't know who it was. Honestly, I thought it was a girl. But, then, I poked around a bit, and I realized it was you. So, of course, when I got to meet you, who had built up quite a reputation, I was naturally intrigued and somewhat happy. You know the first thing you said to me?" Izaya smiled sadly.

"… I don't like you," Shizuo replied.

"Exactly. When I asked why, you just said, 'Because I just don't.' Now, being rejected like that hurt. I, of course, only wanted acceptance. So, when I thought I might finally get more acceptance, I was shot down. Of course, Shinra would always accept me, but it's not the same as having someone like _you_ accept me. If Shinra, someone so like him, could say I was his friend shamelessly… If someone like _you_ could do that, I would know what I really was. But I don't. And I never did. To mask all the pain and hurt of rejection, I created a new me- someone who didn't _need_ acceptance. I always thought that maybe it could work, but no. I was always practically begging for attention… And once again, I turned to you. You had the biggest temper I've ever seen, and so, obviously, if someone wanted attention… They'd simply go to the one who would give it to them. So, in reality, you never knew me until now. And when I said I couldn't love a single human… Well, that was entirely true. Thing is…. You're a monster," Izaya stared at Shizuo seriously.

"So… What does that mean?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya smiled. "How would one explain this to a protozoan..? It means I love you, baka," Izaya said, rolling his eyes. Shizuo's eyes widened.

"You… You're kidding," he accused. "You can't possibly… Not after…"

"Shizu-chan… I don't care what you do to me. No matter how much you've hurt me, or caused me difficulty... I never stopped clinging onto you like the flea I am. I need you," Izaya walked over to him and hugged him, sitting in his lap. "And… Honestly… I just want acceptance."

- Meanwhile -

[Shinra… I really don't think Izaya needs an antidepressant.] Celty looked down at the small bottle in her hands. [He seems a lot better than before. I just think we need to give him some time.]

"But, Celty..!" Shinra sighed. "Okay, okay. Fine. Whatever you think is best."

[Thank you.] Celty handed him the bottle back and he put it back into the medicine cabinet. [Hey, do you think I should check up on him..? I'm kind of worried, actually.]

"Hm?" Shinra looked up. "Well, if you want to. I mean, I have work to do, anyway."

[Alright. I'll be back in a bit.] Celty nodded, taking her motorcycle helmet and putting it on, walking out the door and getting on her bike. She began to ride to Shizuo's house. She stopped when she nearly hit Mikado. She got of the bike, waving her hands. [Ryugamine! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there… I was just going to visit Izaya, and I wasn't looking, and-]

"It's fine, Celty," Mikado smiled. "I was actually just going to go see him myself. Do you mind if I ride with you?"

Celty hesitated, but created a motorcycle helmet in her hand and tossed it to Mikado, who put it on. He climbed on the back of the bike and Celty got in front of him. They then rode silently until they got to Shizuo's house, breaking immediately. The helmet on Mikado's head dissipated and the two got off, walking up to the front door. Celty was about to knock, but paused.

"I still don't believe you," Shizuo said cautiously. Celty and Mikado listened intently to the conversation.

"You never did, and you never will. I don't care about that, though. Because _I_ know," Izaya replied with a sigh.

"Izaya…" Shizuo shook his head. "I can't believe _you're_ the smart one here. You should've told me, flea." Izaya frowned at the use of his insulting nickname once again. So, he decided to play Shizuo's game. He cleared his throat.

"Oh~? But Shizu-chan, that's cruel!" Izaya grasped his heart. "After all, not _everyone_ can be geniuses!"

"I-zaaaayaaaaa…!" Shizuo threw a punch at him, and Izaya dodged easily.

"Whoops! Missed me!" Izaya kicked open the door, passing by Celty and Mikado. Shizuo picked up the couch and began to run after him, but saw the two confused people on his doorstep.

"Um…" Shizuo put the couch down. "What are you doing here?"

[Well, I was _going_ to check on Izaya, but… I see that some things never change.] Celty shrugged.

"You guys are never gonna get along, are you?" Mikado asked with a small smile.

Shizuo smiled as well. "Here's a little fact about Izaya and I… Fighting is _how_ we get along." He waved. "Well, I got a flea to catch. See ya." He took off running.

Celty seemed to be laughing her head off- Oh, wait. **(A/N I actually didn't notice that until I read it out loud xDD)**

[Izaya was right. Some things… never change.]

* * *

**So, well, I'll see you guys later. ^^ BTW...**

**I AM THE POKEMON CHAMPION! Which means I finished Pokémon X after putting it aside for two months xD **


	11. Suicidal

**Okay, so here is the second to last chapter! I would post the last chapter today, but I'm not going to be that nice. xD I'm starting a sequel to it, called, "Brightened". So, I hope you enjoy! ^^ As always.**

* * *

_February 27__th___

_3:00 PM_

_Three Months after Izaya's Return_

Shizuo walked behind Tom. "So, we're done for the day?"

"Yep. We just have to find Vorona…" Tom sighed.

"Hm?" Shizuo paused for a second, recognizing a scent in the air. "Tom-san?"

"… Eh… Sure, whatever. I'll just use cotton candy or something to lure her out," Tom replied with another sigh.

Shizuo walked around until he caught sight of the flea. "I-ZAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAA!" He yelled. Izaya turned around, not with a smirk, but a smile.

"Oh, wow, Shizu-chan found me again?" he laughed, starting to run.

Shizuo smiled as well as the two were caught in their little game of cat and mouse. Somebody must have thought it funny to trip Izaya while he was running from what could possibly kill him, because a large bag fell at his feet, causing him to fall forwards.

"Eh!?" He silently cursed at himself for not paying enough attention to his surroundings. Shizuo walked over to him, outstretching a hand towards him. Izaya took it and stood up.

"Don't be so clumsy when we're fighting," Shizuo smiled, raising an eyebrow. "You're taking the fun out of it."

"Well, I'm sorry for totally falling on purpose and scraping my knee. I _definitely_ planned that, Shizu-chan, because that's _so_ something I do these days, protozoan," Izaya said sarcastically. Shizuo hugged Izaya, and Izaya gave up, hugging him back.

"Don't compare me to an amoeba," Shizuo whispered with a smirk. Izaya pulled away slightly, looking up at him.

"Did you Google it?" Izaya asked.

"Yep," Shizuo laughed.

Izaya hugged him once again, cuddling up to him. Just then, his phone rang. "Ne? Oh, whoops, sorry," He backed away from Shizuo just enough to escape the hug and answered. "Hello~? Oh, of course! No… Alright… So, we meet at Russia Sushi, then~? Alright!" He hung up, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"You have to work?" Shizuo asked, hands in pockets.

"Yep," Izaya replied.

"Wait."

Shizuo took Izaya's arm and pulled his sleeves up, revealing cuts along his wrist. "… Izaya, I thought I told you to stop this."

"Shizu-chan…"

"No. Just stop, okay?"

"…" Izaya nodded. "Sorry."

Shizuo pulled his sleeve back down and smiled, patting Izaya's head. "Have a nice day, flea."

"You too, Shizu-chan! Gotta run~!" Izaya smiled back, his mood immediately changing. He skipped away gleefully.

"Can't believe that flea's depressed… And no reasonable man skips around like that," Shizuo muttered to himself. "Oh, well. What're you gonna do?"

And with that, he went home.

- Three Hours Later -

- Kanra has entered the chatroom.

Kanra: Hello, again~!

Setton: Oh, hey, Kanra. ^^

Tanaka Taro: Sup?

Bakyura: Die.

Shizu-chan: Howdoyoumakeaspace?I'mreallyconfusedandnobody'shelpingme.

Izaya's eyes widened. If that was really Shizuo… Why would he use Shizu-chan as his alias? Well, not really alias, since everybody knew who he was, but…

Kanra: Ne? You just press the space bar.

Shizu-chan: …What'sthat?

Kanra: … It's the thing in the bottom middle of your keyboard.

Shizu-chan: Oh, okay. Thanks.

Setton: Haha… So, how is everybody?

Bakyura: Fine. T^T

Tanaka Taro: Great! :D

Kanra: Amazing, thank you.

Shizu-chan: I'm trying my best not to break my keyboard right now.

Kanra: Hm… I have to go, sorry.

Setton: Bye.

Tanaka Taro: See you.

Bakyura: Die. =-=

Shizu-chan: Okay, bye.

Kanra: BYYEEEE~! ^^

- Kanra has logged off.

Setton: So, Shizuo- er, Shizu-chan- you know who Kanra is, right?

Shizu-chan: No. Who?

Tanaka Taro: He'll figure out soon enough.

Bakyura: Eh, I highly doubt it.

Shizu-chan: What is that supposed to mean..?

- Indoor Scholar has logged on.

Indoor Scholar: HELLOOOOOOO!

Setton: …

Bakyura: Hey ^^

Shizu-chan: Hi.

Tanaka Taro: Oh, hi. :))

Indoor Scholar: WOAHHH… Shizu-chan? Shi-san!?

Shizu-chan: Yep. Hi. Do you know who Kanra is?

Indoor Scholar: Well...

Indoor Scholar: Why do you ask?

Setton: We're just trying to see how long it would take him right now.

Indoor Scholar: Oh, okay! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Shizuo was about to type another word when he felt arms wrap around him from behind. It took him a moment to realize who it was.

"Really, Shizu-chan?" Izaya laughed, hugging him. Shizuo stood up and hugged him back.

"I didn't see why not," Shizuo shrugged. "Oh, hey… Do you know who Kanra is? And who are you? Because I've seen you on the chatroom before, I just-"

"I'm Kanra, Shizu-chan," Izaya rolled his eyes. Shizuo's jaw nearly dropped.

"Why are you a woman on the internet?" He asked.

Izaya shrugged. "Just for the lolz, I guess."

"…" Shizuo sighed. "Alright then."

Shizu-chan: Hey, I got to go guys. _Kanra_ is at my house. Bye.

Setton: Aw… I guess we'll never know how long it would've taken him.

Indoor scholar: D'awwwwwwwwwwwww!

Tanaka Taro: Haha ^^

Bakyura: o3o Okay then.

- MONTA has logged on.

Setton: Monta! ^^

Monta: 'Sup?

- Shizu-chan has logged off.

Shizuo laughed. "So…" He picked Izaya up and set him in the computer chair, staring at him with his arms crossed. His face became serious. "You didn't stop, did you?"

"Shizu-chan, I…"

"I told you to stop and you didn't!" Shizuo yelled. "What, I'm guessing you're smoking now, too? You'd be better off killing yourself! Now, I see where you were getting at when you tried to jump! I wish I hadn't saved you the first time!"

Izaya flinched, suddenly getting teary-eyed. He wondered how it was possible for Shizuo to change the mood so quickly instead of him.

"S-Shizu-chan, you don't mean that…" he said quietly.

"I do mean that! If you're not going to listen to me and stop this crap, then just go ahead and die already!" Shizuo yelled louder.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya yelled back, standing up and backing away in terror. He ran out of the house in tears, just wanting to go home. He wasn't paying attention once again, and accidentally ran into Celty, who was on her phone, probably still on the chatroom.

Celty stopped him just in time, glad neither of them fell or hurt themselves. [Hey, you alright?] She asked, noticing his tears.

Izaya hugged- actually _hugged_- Celty Sturluson. She hugged him back, patting his back gently. She couldn't communicate with him while he was hugging her, but he knew what she was trying to say.

"S-Shi… Shizuo… t-told me t-to… K-Kill myself…." Izaya stuttered, sobbing. Celty didn't believe it. She pried the crying informant off of her, setting him on the back of her motorcycle. She created a helmet around his head as she climbed on in front of him, beginning to ride to Shinra's house. Izaya was still sobbing, just not as hard. Somehow, Celty's kindness at the time was soothing and comforting. It was all he needed right then.

When they arrived at Shinra's, Celty sat Izaya down on the couch.

"So, what happened? It's okay, just tell the whole story. And no stuttering or crying," Shinra instructed, sitting on the chair next to the couch.

Izaya nodded. "Well… Earlier today… I met Shizu-chan… A-And-"

"I said no stuttering," Shinra said.

"… And so, he looked at my wrist, and he got angry, because… He told me to stop a while back, but… I didn't, and… When I got home a few hours later, he was on the chatroom, so I went to his house to ask about his username, and… He got angry again, and accused me of all this different stuff, then told me it would be better and that I was right to try to kill myself…" Izaya sighed, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

"Izaya, I doubt he actually _did_ mean any of that," Shinra smiled sadly, raising an eyebrow. "Y'know, if he told you to stop whatever you were doing, then obviously, he doesn't want you hurting yourself. See?"

"B-But…" Izaya sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I understand now…"

[Well, _are_ you going to stop?] Celty turned to him.

"…" Izaya paused, but nodded. "Yes… I'll stop…"

"Good," Shinra stood up. "Then, unless you want me to treat you, you can go now."

Izaya didn't move.

"So, you want me to?" Shinra asked. "Alright, sure." He walked over to Izaya. "Celty?"

Celty nodded, getting Shinra's medical kit and setting it on the table in front of him.

When Izaya left that day, there wasn't a scratch or cut on his body.

He walked around the streets, eyes on his feet. _Should I really..?_ Izaya sighed. He didn't know what to do. He'd been hurt so much… And of course, if his monster wanted him dead…

That would be two reasons to die.

Then, you could add on everyone he hurt, how he was involved in illegal work, and how he was practically infamous for ruining people's lives. Three more reasons.

So, there. He had five reasons to die and none to live.

Right?

And so there he was, back where he started, finding himself climb the stairwell of the infamous building to the top, standing at the edge, looking down at the blood stains, and wondering why he was so afraid to fall. There was no Shizuo there to save him. Never. He excluded himself from the crowd, not leaving his apartment until midnight, not answering Shinra's calls, even _begging_ Namie to tell everyone who visited he wasn't home.

Yet, somehow, even with him disappearing off the face of the Earth…

He still couldn't jump.

And so, there he stood, at the edge of the building so many people had jumped, unaffected by the world… and the world unaffected by him. Surely, he thought to himself, nobody would miss me. And of course, he believed it. He was simply a shadow representing everything wrong with the world. Of course no one would miss him.

Nobody would care.

And that night, once again, Izaya stood at the edge of the building, looking over. He thought about what Shizuo said. _He doesn't actually like me… He was just being stupid and unpredictable, as always._ And so then, he decided it. He was going to jump. He took a deep breath, leaning over just enough to-

Wait…

Where was Shizuo?

Last time he did the exact same thing, and Shizuo saved him. So, why not now?

He fell to his knees, realizing how much of an idiot he actually was.

_Everybody hates me… I have to do this,_ He thought once again, standing up. Though, somehow, he couldn't help but tremble. He slowly, ever so slowly leaning forward until he fell, his heart pounding in his chest as the cold wind whipped his face. After that, everything went black.

He awoke slowly to the sweet smell of roses, too pained to sit up. He looked around. To his left- endless flowers and trees, and beautiful sights. To his right…

Shizuo Heiwajima.

_Shizu-chan?_ Izaya wanted to call out, but his body disobeyed him.

"You wanted your fairytale ending," Shizuo said, smiling down sadly at him. "Shinra said there was no hope in trying to save you, so… I guess this was all I could do."

Izaya stared up at him in disbelief, and his heart was no longer pounding. He was no longer afraid. He knew that it was going to happen eventually, and now..?

There was no stopping Izaya's fate.

"Thank you," Izaya managed to speak.

"I can't believe it, though… I guess Ikebukuro's traffic is safe without me tearing up all those signs, huh?" Shizuo smiled, laughing. Though, Izaya could tell that Shizuo's vice was obviously cracking up, and there were tear streaks down his cheeks. "Heh. And people can once again buy soda in peace…"

Izaya blinked, feeling himself getting weaker and more tired as the seconds passed. Every minute he spent in that heaven felt like an hour, and he smiled, listening to Shizuo's stupid, idiotic stories about his own protozoan mind.

And when Izaya felt his eyes drop, his heartbeat quickened, even if only for a moment. He really wouldn't be able to see Shizuo's face, feel his touch, or even hear his voice again. He clung onto reality as best he could before he disappeared.

"Izaya..? Izaya!" Shizuo called out, but Izaya could only see blackness. "Don't… You can't!"

He felt Shizuo scoop him up in his arms, hugging him tightly.

"You better not be doing this to me, flea!"

Izaya only smiled.

"… Shizuo… Heiwajima. M-my… monster."

His body fell limp in Shizuo's arms.

After that, sobbing. Only harsh sobbing. Shizuo heard a bike pull up and stop in front of him, Celty staring at Izaya's dead body unbelievingly.

[Wow… Oh, my God…] Celty took Izaya from Shizuo's clutch, setting him back on the ground. [He's in a better place, now… Just let him stay in his fairytale. This place never changes… So… There.] Shizuo nodded and climbed on the bike behind her and they took off, back to Shinra's.

Shizuo just couldn't- rather, didn't _want_ to believe Izaya was dead. It just wasn't possible. He didn't _want_ it to be possible. Yet, it was.

And it had happened right before his eyes.

* * *

**DUN. DUN. DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN! See ya next time. xD**


	12. Shadowed

**Okay, guys, so... Here it is. :( The final chapter. Don't worry, though! I'm writing a sequel already. ^^ I already mentioned this, but in case you missed it, it's called "Brightened". I haven't posted it yet (obviously), since I didn't finish this one. So, here it is, guys. The very last chapter. *tears up* I'M GOING TO MISS YOU.**

* * *

_Epilogue_

Shizuo hadn't forgotten. He never would. Every day, he'd pause and wrap his hands around a street sign, wanting to smell that unmistakable stench, wanting to hear the annoying voice, and wanted to see that horrible flea.

He never did.

Yet, he never stopped hoping. Not until... Months passed, then _years_ passed… Then, he just stopped caring. He tried so hard to forget about Izaya, but the flea was always there in the back of his mind.

Celty never stopped wondering either. She completely forgot about finding her own head, just to search for Izaya.

Shinra planned the funeral.

Everyone else attended and spoke.

Even Namie said her goodbyes.

But they never got Izaya's body back.

They went back to the garden, yes.

But Izaya's body wasn't there.

They checked every month. They never found him again. But, of course… They never stopped looking. Until one day…

Shizuo was walking along the street, like any usual day, except he was pretty much the only one. A stench so faint and unforgiving that Shizuo may not have even recognized it, if it weren't for its blunt obviousness. He took a moment- Was he imagining it? No, it was there. It was most definitely there. He looked down, seeing a long shadow of a short man in a… fur-lined coat. He ran to the shadow and looked around quickly, seeing someone all too familiar.

"Izaya!" he exclaimed. Though, when Shizuo chased after the now running figure out of the alley, it disappeared. As if it were never even there…

But Shizuo knew that it wasn't just some random hallucination.

It was Izaya Orihara…

And he was determined to find him.

* * *

**... Yep. I did just do that. So, anyways, I'll be posting the sequel either today or tomorrow. I'll have a link to it here when it's up... So... ^^" Oh, my God... This is just... SO DEPRESSING. Well, I'll see you. :3**


	13. Author's Note (Sequel Info)

**HELLOOOOOOOO, AGAIN! So, I just posted the sequel to this story, and so, here's the link... Along with a little preview! ^^**

** s/10006530/1/Brightened**

* * *

_Celty Sturluson 12:43 AM._

_Shizuo, did you see that, too? There was some… SHADOW or something! And I could've sworn it was Izaya! Text me back when you wake up._

His eyes widened. He texted her back immediately.

_Shizuo Heiwajima 7:00 AM._

_I did. I tried to find him, but… It was like he was a shadow. It was… sorta creepy, actually._

* * *

"Shizu-chan~!" A voice called out… But it wasn't Izaya's. No, it was Mairu Orihara. She skipped over to Shizuo, not followed by Kururi for some reason.

"Oh, Mairu. Where's your sister?" Shizuo asked.

Mairu shrugged. "We got into a fight. Izzy's usually there to break it up, but… without him… I guess we're just going to fight a lot more." She sighed.

* * *

"Shizuo, I kind of… Have something to say," Tom rubbed the back of his head nervously as they started to walk. "I want you to… take the year off."

* * *

"I know, I know, but… I just…" Shizuo rubbed his temples. "Everything is falling apart. Izaya's gone, I won't be able to work for a year, and…"

[A year? Why not?] Celty tilted her head.

"Izaya. Tom-san told me to look for Izaya," Shizuo looked up at her.

[… But… You were planning on looking for him anyways.]

"No, not anymore. I realized that if he really _is_ out there, then obviously, he doesn't want to see us. Why can't he just come out of hiding now? He doesn't _actually_ care. He's just a rotten flea who drains the life out of everyone."

* * *

- Shizuo H. has logged on.

Setton: Hey…

Indoor Scholar: Hello~! ^^

Bakyura: Sup?

Shizuo H.: Hey. And, sorry about earlier, Setton. I didn't mean to…

Setton: No. It's… It's fine.

Shizuo H.: You sure..?

Setton: Yeah. I'm sorry, too. I was kind of stuck up.

- Kanra has logged on.

Setton: Kanra!

- Kanra has logged off.

* * *

_Celty Sturluson – 6:00 PM._

_Hey, Shizuo. I really am sorry for my earlier outburst. Anyways, I caught Izaya on one of the security cameras in your apartment building._

_Shizuo Heiwajima – 6:01 PM._

_What? Why would he be there?_

_Celty Sturluson – 6:01 PM._

_I'm really not sure. All he did was walk up to your door, and kind of stood there with his fist a few inches away from it, like he was going to knock or something… But he never did._

_Shizuo Heiwajima – 6:02 PM._

_Hm… I wonder why. Well, anyways, thanks, Celty. I'll see you tomorrow._

_Celty Sturluson – 6:02 PM. _

_See you._

* * *

Shizuo slowly brought the phone up to his ear. "Hello..?"

There was the sound of crying- no, _sobbing_. "S-Shizu-chan..!"

Then there was the sound of a punch being thrown. Izaya screamed out in pain.

* * *

This wasn't a rescue mission.  
This wasn't a search party.  
This wasn't even reality anymore.  
This was something that Shizuo understood, something that would resort to… _violence._

* * *

Shizuo sat next to Celty on the couch as Shinra drank coffee, leaning against the ottoman. "And… When he called me… He screamed my name, then… Something like…" Shizuo snapped his fingers. "Just don't touch… hi… hi…" He sighed. "It started in 'hi'."

[Shizuo, do you really need a rocket scientist to figure it out? He said _him_. Not _hi_, but _him._] Celty sighed. [Do you have any idea what he was talking about?]

"I don't know… I heard a voice in the background, but I couldn't make out what it was saying… I really think Izaya's hurt," Shizuo sighed.

"He most likely is," Shinra stated with a shrug. "But, of course, we can sit around here, or the three of us can find another way to save him once again, unless you just want to let him _suffer_ until he finally dies, which would take about a month given the information that you just provided. So, which one is it, Shi-san?"

* * *

"Oh, Shizuo!" The brunette at the other end of the street smiled. _Alicia_, Shizuo thought to himself. "Hey!"

Shizuo waved to her and she walked over to him. "What's up?" she asked.

[Oh, well, we're just trying to find Izaya.] Celty held her PDA up.

"Oh! I think I know where he is!"

Shizuo tilted his head. "What? _How_?"

"Do you know Kaitoya Yairu?" Alicia asked. Shizuo's body stiffened. _If that stupid redhead goes anywhere near Izaya, he'll be sorry… _

"Yeah, what about him?" Shizuo asked.

Alicia tapped her fingers on the side of her bag. "Well, just check his place. He has a book filled with the names of everyone there."

[Wait, but, how do you know all of this?]

"Oh! Because!" Alicia rubbed the back of her head, looking somewhat nervous. "I'm his, um… Daughter,"

* * *

"Because… Hope is amazing. Hope is something _everybody_ has, no matter how much they deny it. And Izaya? He probably has so, so much hope for you to come and save him… Because it's what you've been doing for his entire life. Even if it was because of you, you'd always make sure he was alive, breathing, _safe…_ So… Don't crush his hope, Shizuo."

* * *

**I didn't spoil much, but what I DID post doesn't really matter... OR DOES IT!? You'll never know... Well, unless you actually read ****Brightened****. xD See ya. BYE.**


End file.
